


Deceit's Survival

by Space_Angel1



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Being Half Snake Is a Problem, Brother Like Friendship, Camping, Gen, Good Deceit, Hunting, I'm sorry!, Injured!Deceit, Other, Pet Wolf!, Platonic Virgil/Deceit, Regret, SO MUCH ANGST!, Self Harm, Sick!Deceit, Songs Carry Memories, Suicide Attempt, Survival, Thinking, lots of songs, past mistakes, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-05-28 03:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15039329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Angel1/pseuds/Space_Angel1
Summary: Deceit finds himself in the middle of a forest and must survive. Angst ensues.Rated teen because of hunting and injury scenes.I'll try to update every other day.This fic also has aplaylist!





	1. Brother, Let Me Be Your Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this without internet while we were camping, so sorry about spelling and lyric mistakes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings. Just some campfire nostalgia. ;)

He sat huddled inside his cloak, gathering as much warmth as he could. He gazed into the flame, contemplating nothing and everything. His eyes stung from the smoke, his hands and feet from gathering wood, and his heart from the loneliness. In the mindscape at least the other sides were there, even if they never actually talked to him.

He was the outcast from both the light and dark, forever cursed to walk the line between. He and Virgil had once walked together, for a time they had both been outcasts. But then there was an incident, and Virgil abandoned him without a second glance. He left him for the others. Deceit had tried and tried again to apologize, to make amends, but the anxious trait would have none of it. And now, now it had led to this. It was the only logical explanation.

 _Oh, listen to me. The only logical explanation,_ He thought to himself. The fire began to fade, so he grabbed his makeshift staff and stoked it. He imagined the flames to be the anger of the other sides, his reveal to Thomas only adding to their already glowing embers. He sighed and laid the stick back down. He didn't know how he arrived here in this forest. He vaugely remembered going to bed last night. Or maybe he didn't? He remembered a figure in front of his door. After that there wasn't much.

He did remember when he awoke. He had begun to panic. He was left in the middle of the woods with a tarp, a sleeping bag, a knife, 3 water bottles, and some rope. He had no clue what to do or where to start. It took him a good few minutes of breathing exercises for him to calm down enough to recall Thomas's exceptionally breif survival training. His first need would be shelter. He could go 20 days without food and he had 3 water bottles, however hypothermia was his main enemy. His half-snake like nature didn't help matters either.

If he had to guess, it was about mid afternoon when he woke, giving him only a few hours of daylight to work. It didn't seem like it would rain any time soon, so the tarp hung over a rope would be fine. What he needed was heat.

He spent most of the afternoon collecting firewood. It took most of the evening to get even a small flame ignited. He tried a variety of techniques, only when the sun was concentrated through one of the water bottles did a streak of smoke begin to rise. He carefully built a small tepee of twigs around it, not wanting to lose what he had worked so hard to get. The twings gradually turned to branches. Unfortunately, they burned quick and gave off a lot of smoke due to their dampness and the moss growing on them, but they kept him warm none the less. However, building a fire had not given him enough time to attempt to hunt tonight, so that would have to wait. His stomach growled in protest as the familiar acidic fire burned at it and his throat.

He never ate with the main sides. He always snuck down to the kitchen after he was certain everyone was in their rooms, scavenging for leftovers. Oftentimes there was none. He could have made something, but the idea of hanging around for to long wasn't entirely pleasing.

He sighed once more as he focused on the  feiry dance in front of him. It's leaps and bows refelcted in his mismatched eyes. He'd always hated his snake eye. Through it he could identify every lie someone told, and it always caught everyone's attention. Oh why couldn't he just be normal!? He hated his scales. They were tough and insensitive to everything but a caring touch. And that was something he'd lost a long time ago. Oddly enough, one of the songs Thomas had performed with his friends crept into his head and he found himself humming to it.

_"A feeling's not a thing you own."_

He thought of the times he had with Virgil. He cared for the younger trait like a brother.

_"But it can be lost."_

_"I hate you!" he'd said. "You never agree to anything I say! You were the one who made him tell the truth! You're the one who got him hurt! You can't do anything right! Not even for Thomas!"_

_"I just wanna be home."_

_The younger trait with tears running down his cheeks, eyeshadow blurring, doubled over as if stabbed when the lying trait delivered his final words. "I hope I never see you again."_

_"Cause home is where the heart is..."_

_They used to hold each other tight. It was them against the world..._

_"...but when I departed..."_

_The lying trait stood up and left the sobbing one. He was the one who left, who drove Virgil away._

_"I might have abandoned them both."_

_"Virgil, I am sorry."_

_"No you're not! You're lying!"_

_"Virgil, I-"_

_"SHUT UP! I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU USE MY NAME AGAIN!"_

_"I'm standing on the borderline..."_

_He raised his hand to knock, for who knows how many times. But he stopped. 'It's over.' he thought. 'Things will never go back to the way they used to be.'_

_"Between two states, I'm petrified!"_

_And so the cloaked figure, realising the hope that they could reconcile was a lie he had tried so desperately to convinced himself of,  turned and walk away, back into the void, back into the forgotten, this time truly alone._

_"Of who I was..."_

_He screamed to the void. No one and everyone heard him. It passed through the mindscape with great volume, yet it went no where. There was nothing that could heal his broken heart. There was nothing that could remove his guilt. So he did the next best thing. He lied. He lied to himself and he lied to no one. It dulled the pain, it hid him from the truth that was all to painful for him. No, this was all Virgil's doing. Deceit had done everything right. He attempted to reconcile, but it was Virgil who pushed him away._

_"Or who I'm gonna be."_

_"Deceit?" Thomas had asked in surprise. Virgil's simple glare told Deceit enough, and Deceit's smirk coincided. They were through. It was over. There was nothing between them anymore. The brotherhood they had was gone. Nothing could change that now._

A simple tear slipped carefully down his cheek, meandering it's way through his scales as the song and memories faded. One was joined by another, and soon the crushing pressure of guilt had returned. He couldn't hold it back any longer. He couldn't lie to himself any longer. Besides here felt safer to let it all out than the mindscape. His gasps turned into sobs as he wrapped his cloak tighter around himself.

"I-I'm so-orry... V-Virgil- I'm so- sorry..."


	2. With The Beast Inside, No Where We Can Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! EATING OF LIVE ANIMALS! Don't read if you're squeamish!

He awoke to the damp and cold settling around him. Everything in him protested getting up. He just wanted to stay huddled in the secure warmth of his sleeping bag forever. He groaned when that first twisted burn hit his stomach. It growled and clenched itself. He knew the sensations would only get more intense if he didn't do anything about it.

He opened his eyes to see the tarp around him, and yesterday's events came flooding back. His breath caught in his throat and he struggled to free himself from his paralysis.

 _Breathe_ , he told himself. _Just breathe._

Finally, fresh oxygen flooded his lungs, and he savored every bit of it. He laid there for a minute, regaining his senses and making a plan. He knew his first priority should be getting more fire wood, but his stomach thought otherwise.

He groaned and heaved himself up, unzipped his sleeping bag, stepped out, and slipped his boots on. He grimaced at the mud on them. He wasn't like Roman, but he preferred to be presentable. However, now that he thought about it, more than just his boots were probably in some state of entropy.

He grabbed his staff and pocket knife and got out of his makeshift tent. He began to whittle away at the top of his staff to make a spear, saving the shavings for a future fire. He saw a small lake when he was gathering firewood last evening, so he decided to try his luck there. He made his way to the faint trail, bringing with him his new spear, knife and some rope, while leaving his cloak and hat behind.

The walk to the lake was a relatively short one. It felt good to be walking with a purpose rather than hiding in the shadows, even if that small purpose was one's own survival. He arrived at a clearing on the lake's edge and simply stood and admired the sight.

The newly risen sun danced across the surface of the calm waters. A small breeze sifted through the leaves, cascading them down to rest upon the surface. Birds sang their morning tunes and in this moment, the world seemed to be in perfect harmony.

He allowed his thoughts to wander for a bit. He thought of how Virgil would have loved this. He would have found it so calming. He was thought of how Roman would have used it to reenact a romantic scene from a play. Patton would be collecting wild flowers and making bouquets, and Logan would be identifying and classifying all the flora and animals.

Deceit sighed as his stomach protested his procrastination. He traveled further along the lake's edge till he came to a place where he could walk down to the shore. The soil seemed to be soft, judging by the foot prints of animals that had passed through before.

He took off his gloves and left his knife and rope with them on the ledge. He stepped down and sank slightly. A voice in him that sounded like Virgil demanded he turn back. He stuffed it down and took another step. Immediately, he sank to his knees. Panic set in and he struggled against the suction. He began to sink even deeper. Malnutrition caused him to weaken faster. He ceased fighting, contemplating accepting his fate.

But that same voice said, _Get out._

Deceit groaned. "There's no point. No one wants me. I drove my only friend away. I messed up. I might as well die."

_Fight back!_

"No."

_GET OUT!_

"Ugh..."

He began to maneuver himself to so he was stretched out. He pointed his toes so he could get his feet out of the quick sand easier. He wedged his staff into the solid part of the shore for leverage. Slowly, but surely, he pulled himself from the sediment. When he finally made it back to solid land, he collapsed and let the adrenaline wear off.

Again his stomach protested.

He sighed and once again heaved himself up. He looked down and was horrified at the state of his clothes. Mud covered most of his body, his legs and hands took the brunt of it. His shirt had some smudges from where his hands had rested. He could feel the mush move inside his boots. A new wave of tears threatened to overtake him, but he bit his tongue, grabbed his things, and carried on.

He went around to the other side of the lake where the river that fed it was. The shore was more of a cliff, but at least it wouldn't swallow him. He carefully made his way down to a ledge where he could reach the water. And there he waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, he saw a small silver streak glide effortlessly through the ravine. He readied his spear. Slowly. Slowly.

_Splash!_

He pulled back, desperate to find a writhing fish on the end of his spear. Instead, all that was there was a few drops of water. Disappointed, he prepared to wait again. It was some time before another fish came along. He thrust the spear again, but once again, nothing awaited him.

His hands began to shake and his head spin. He knew that if he didn't climb back up now, he may never be able to again. But hunger kept him where he was. Hunger drove him to ignore logic, to ignore anxiety, to ignore any and every notion that would hinder him from a meal. All he had was pure, animalistic, hunger.

After the 4th or 5th fish that he had missed (he'd lost track), he spotted a salamander resting in a quiet pool nearby. It's near still movements and brown back would have caused him to miss it if it hadn't been for the orange underside. He watched it out of his snake eye. With it's sudden rise to the surface, something inside Deceit snapped.

He abandoned his spear on the ledge and lunged for the tiny creature. The poor thing had no chance for escape, and was soon in Deceit's grasp. It writhed and struggled, attempting to crawl away.

 _Food,_ some dark voice inside him said. _Eat. Now._

He simply held it in his hands that had since ceased to shake and stared at it. It's movements seemed to fuel something in him. He vaguely saw his contracted eyes in the creature's own. His snake tongue slipped out to taste the air, and boy, did it taste good. He barely heard another voice say something about bright colors meaning poison, but it was to late. The creature was already in his mouth.

It's squirming felt weird, but it tasted so good. He swallowed, and the sensations traveled, but the taste remained. He couldn't be certain, but perhaps he may have growled. He began to descend down the cliff, making his way to a log, he sat on it and watched his prey. Left and right he began to grab, eating as he did until his hunger was satiated. He then left and sat on the small shoreline, leaning against a dead tree. The sun was low in the sky, and he was full.

 _Snakes,_ he thought. _Snakes eat salamanders._

 _Salamanders are poisonous to most snake species, with garter snakes being an exception,_ a voice told him.

I _'ll be fine,_ he thought.

 _You are not a garter snake_ , the voice replied matter of factly.

"I'LL BE FINE!" He screamed at the voice, echoing across the lake. A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he looked up at the sky. "Snakes also need heat," he said, heaving himself up and making his way to the cliff. He realized his clothes were still a mess, and he really didn't want to get mud on his cloak or in his sleeping bag back at the camp.

He sighed, taking off his boots and shirt and waded into the water. There was no way he was taking his pants off, even in the middle of a forest. It just felt like he was being watched. He ran them through the water, wrung his shirt out the best he could, tied his boots together, and placed both around his neck. He then made his way back to the cliff and began the arduous climb.

The rocks dug into his bare and tired hands and feet. After what felt like forever, he made it to the ledge where he had left his spear. He picked it up, and hoisted himself up the last few feet. He picked up the rest of his things and walked to a forested area. The trees were dead and dying, perfect firewood. He needed to get back to camp. The knot in his stomach got tighter.

He walked into the woods and cursed as the small twigs dug into the tender flesh of his feet. Of all the places that could have had scales, his feet were not one of them. He quickly gathered large and small twigs and branches, along with a smaller downed tree he could drag back and cut up once he had the fire going. He wrapped the twigs and branches in his still wet shirt, grabbed the tree and started back.

As soon as he was close, he dropped the tree and rushed to the fire ring. He gathered together some dry grass and the shavings and brought them to the ring. He grabbed one of the bottles of water that was currently half empty so he could start the fire. He was suddenly very thirsty. He opened the bottle and took what was meant to be two sips, but emptied the bottle. He sighed, tossing it inside, and grabbed another, setting work on starting a fire. He silently thought of how lucky he was to have gotten back when he did, the sun was almost out of range.

It took a few tries, but he finally got a flame started. He sat down on his sleeping bag, proud of his work. His stomach, however became more and more violent.

He began to sweat heavily, though he was still shirtless, and his breathing was becoming labored. Even still, he was shivering. He grabbed his cloak and wrapped it around himself as he scooted closer to the fire. He really didn't feel good. Oh, he was so thirsty!

 _I have to conserve it,_  he thought. His body, however, didn't obey as it reached for the bottle of water, opened it, and brought it to his lips. He gulped it down, emptying it, and tossing it with the other one. He laid down.

 _I need to cut up the tree_ , he thought. His limbs refused to answer. His eyes drifted closed. _No..._

He pulled his cloak closer. Everything hurt. He was sure his feet were bleeding. The world seemed to spin though he was laying down. He was so dang thirsty. He whimpered. This wasn't good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I've been doing research on snakes because I want to get one soon, and I found out that garter snakes have a special enzyme that allows them to eat poisonous varieties of salamanders! Also, when we were camping, there were literally thousands of salamanders in the lake, and they're so easy to catch! I kinda felt bad writing them getting eaten... but ya... He was hungry and wasn't thinking straight. :P But now he's in a world of hurt...
> 
> Also! The sinking sand... Let's just say I had my first experience with it during this last camping trip. Don't worry, I only sank to my knees and managed to get out on my own, but i was covered in mud afterwords. It was kinda scary, but kinda cool at the same time! XD
> 
> And now you gotta think about a shirtless Deceit! ;D You're welcome!


	3. We Don't Have To Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit shorter, but it explains somethings. ;)

"We should call it off."

"No."

"He's not going to make it."

"He'll be fine. He's half snake."

"He ate 13 poisonous salamanders!"

"He'll be sick, but he'll make it."

"He won't be able to take care of himself!"

"Since when did you become so concerned for him?"

"I'm not. I'm concerned about what Patton will do if he finds out that Deceit died because of us!"

"We can't die, idiot."

"How would you know?"

"Well, your still alive."

He looked down at his feet, remembering all the miles walked in pain in the imagination. There was once when it became unbearable, when he actually thought that he was going to die, when he had to sink out of the imagination and go directly to Logan's room for medical attention.

"I was in control then. He's not. He was driven to eat what he knew was poisonous. He's used half his rations. He's hypothermic and bleeding. Virgil, this was supposed to be a test, not torture."

The darker trait simply looked back at the mirror where a figure lay, wrapped in his cloak, shivering and moaning.

"I need to be sure."

"Virgil! He said he was sorry!"

"He's Deceit. He lies every sentence."

"Falsehood."

"Oh, so now your playing Logan on me, huh?"

"I'm not. I'm just saying, he doesn't always lie. And he doesn't deserve that," the creative trait said, gesturing to the mirror. "Let's at least send someone to help him. He won't make it on his own."

"If we send someone, it will ruin the illusion that he's alone."

"Virgil. He is alone. He has been since you left."

The anxious trait spun around, barely contained rage filling his eyes, a deep echo ghosting his words. "You have no idea what I went through or why I left."

The creative trait raised his hands. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened between you two. But whatever it was, doesn't justify that!"

The anxious trait looked back at the mirror with a tight jaw. "One more day. One more day on his own."

The creative trait sighed. That was the best he was gonna get. "Alright. One more day, then we give him some help."


	4. Let The Human In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Human by Of Monsters and Men. It's an awesome song (all of OMAM's songs are!) but I never would have found it if it weren't for this amazing [fan art](https://www.deviantart.com/ally-the-fox-20/art/Deceit-Sanders-Sides-747724219)!  
> But seriously, this is like Dee's theme!
> 
> And this fanfic now has a [playlist made by my good friend!](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL74HWTa5STUMudF1aWOXhL17zg8RxvIKQ)  
> 

Everything in motion. Sluggish and slow. No up or down. No left or right. Nothing moves. It all stays still, trapping him. A flash of light offers freedom. It is quickly snatched away. He falls, but falls no where. He groaps into the darkness, but grasps nothing. There's no black. There's no white. There's no truth. There's no lie. There is only existence. He exists to exist. The existence of existing in this non-existing place. He's falling. He's flying. He's drowning. He's breathing. Deeper. Thicker. Slower. Further. Everything thickens, pulling him in.

. . .

His leg threw itself out. He shot up and cried out in pain as it seized itself, the cramp running through the entire length. He willed it to relax, but it would not obey. All he could do was lay there and cry as his body writhed out of his control.

His stomach made known its complaints of the movement with a threat. He felt the acidic taste in the back of his throat and swallowed it, even with how terrible it tasted. If keeping his tent clean was the one thing he had control over, he was going to keep it.

Finally, his body let go of it's hold, allowing him to actually relax and breathe. He lay completely still, afraid of setting off another cramp. He relished the feeling of oxygen and life without the sensations of dying. It was over all to soon.

His stomach flipped on itself, sending him scrabbling and dragging himself away from the makeshift tent. The acid successfully invaded his mouth as he fought to keep it closed. He managed to make it to the bushes before letting go. His body would not let him stop until it had completely purged itself of the poisonous mash.

He was finally able to sit back and take a gulp of air. The smell hit his lungs, his body threatening to heave again as he dragged himself back to warmth. He lay down on top of the sleeping bag, abs still contracting from the loss of substance.

The morning air was cool to his skin, relieving him of at least some of the heat burning within. His head rolled to the left. One bottle of water remained. He groaned and contemplated the pros and cons of even opening it. If he did, it was unlikely he would stop. If he didn't and he threw up again, he ran the risk of dry-heaving. He sighed and grabbed the bottle, opening it, and taking a single gulp. He put the lid back on and placed it just barely out of his reach.

He curled up and pulled his cloak closer around him. He was so tired, but sleep wouldn't come.

There wasn't exactly much to do, the thought of getting up was not one he was willing to go through with, so he decided to entertain himself with singing. He raked his head for songs when a tune made it's way to his lips.

"Hmmm mmm hmmm mmm." He hummed. "Let the human in..."

He couldn't think of the title or the author, but it felt strongly familiar, and he seemed to know the lyrics by heart, so he continued.

"Breathe in, breathe out. And let it in." He fiddled with the edge of his cloak.

"Plants awoke, and they slowly grow, beneath the skin." He ran the scaly side of his hand along the grass next to him, the sensations soothing him.

"So breathe in, breathe out. And let the human in."

He saw himself and Virgil sitting together, Deceit rubbing Virgil's back and helping him through a panic attack.

_"Shh. It's okay. Everything's going to be fine." Deceit said._

_"He-" -sniff- "they- they left us..." Virgil managed through sniffles._

_"They'll come back for us." Deceit said, hoping for once something he said was true. Their host, who was 6 at the time, sat in the middle of the store, sobbing as the cashiers worked to find his missing parents. "They'll be back soon. Just breath."_

_Virgil nodded and inhaled, paused, and exhaled._

_"Good. Just like that. Keep it up," Deceit said smiling at him._

"When the words... Weigh... Heavy on the heart..."

The scene changed to show an older version of the two in Deceit's room.

_"Dee..." Virgil started timidly. "I- I'm leaving."_

_"What?" Deceit spun around to face Virgil, not believing what he just heard._

_"I- I said I'm leaving," Virgil said, standing up taller. "We- this- it's not working out. We've- we've changed, we've grown. We aren't who we used to be, anymore. I- I'm not a child, I can take care of myself."_

_"Virgil," Deceit said stepping closer, seeing right through the sugar coating. "What's the real reason?"_

_Virgil sighed and looked down at his feet. There was no turning back now. He took a deep breath and faced the lying trait head on._

_"You want to know the real reason, Dee? The real reason is that you don't care about Thomas. You don't care who you hurt with your lies. You don't care who you hurt with your manipulations. You justify it all by saying is for the good of Thomas, it's for the best, but you don't see or you don't care to notice who your hurting."_

_Virgil looked away, barely holding back his tears. "You're hurting me." He whispered._

"I am lost.... And led... Only by the stars..."

_Deceit simply stood there, processing the younger trait's words. They were probably true. And the truth hurt._

_"So..." Virgil began, Deceit looked up. "I- I had to stop it." Virgil turned to Deceit. "I had to stop- you."_

_Deceit's eyes narrowed. He didn't like where this was going._

"Cage me like an animal."

_Virgil looked away. "I- I told Thomas he need to tell his parents. They- they raised him. They deserve to know. They loved him all this time, this shouldn't be any-"_

_"You!" Deceit's outburst stopped Virgil dead in his tracks. "You- you traitor!"_

_His plan was fool proof. He had taken every precaution to be sure the lie would not be found. And in one foul swoop it was all destroyed by his only weakness. Virgil. The boy whom he had raised since he found him, who he had befriended and thought of as a brother. His brother had betrayed him, had betrayed their host. There was no telling what would happen to Thomas now._

"A crown of gems and gold."

_"Everything was perfectly laid out! Nothing could go wrong! And you! You come along and wipe it all away!" He was beyond upset. He was beyond angry. He was enraged. Enraged that Virgil hadn't come to talk with him before taking matters into his own hands. Enraged that the truth was so blatant and painful. Enraged that after an act like this Virgil would just leave._

_He looked over at the said side. He was sitting against the wall, legs pulled up as close as possible, jacket held tight, face buried in his arms, barely contained sobs racking his body. He walked closer._

"Eat me like a cannibal."

_"I hate you!" he said. "You never agree to anything I say! You were the one who made him tell the truth! You're the one who got him hurt! You can't do anything right! Not even for Thomas!" Virgil looked like he was trying to collect himself to say something, whether it be a sorry or a comeback, Deceit didn't know, but he wasn't going to let him. "I hope I never see you again." And with that, Deceit was gone._

"Chase the neon throne."

_Deceit walk the narrow ledge on the mountain side where the light and dark parts of the mindscape were divided. Here, he and Virgil and made their home, but now, it was only his._

_He went on, not noticing the shadows creeping behind him. They whispered to him, telling him he had done the right thing to push Virgil away, to make him feel the pain he felt. They were comforting to him, so he accepted their voices without second thought._

"Breathe in, breathe out."

_He made it to the top of the mountain to a platue where he and Virgil would come to watch the sunset. He sat down and looked to his right, expecting to see the snake nest they had found a few weeks prior. The eggs would be hatching any day now. Instead, what he saw were the remains of broken eggs, the nest torn apart, and a baby snake laying a few feet away. He scooted closer and picked up the snake. It lay limply in his hands. It had a purplish black shine to it, with darker scales under it's eyes which held a dead look. He looked back to the nest, the tracks of birds now evident from this angle._

"Let the human in."

_His heart clenched. This is what he had done to Virgil. All those times of him warning Deceit that lying may not be the best option. And then letting Deceit take it out on him when the lie was found out._

_He had to fix this. But he didn't know how._

"If I could only let go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STORYTIME! 
> 
> Ya, the part where Thomas was left behind in the store? I'm not sure if that actually happened to him or not (I hope not!) but it happened to me, and it was one of the scariest things I had experienced for the longest time! It was all completely on accident, me and my parents just lost track of each other, and eventually the cashiers were able to find them. After that, my parents made sure to always have me and my sister in sight! xD 
> 
> Also, what was the lie you think Deceit convinced Thomas to tell his family? I'll leave it up to you!


	5. Boys Will Be Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really long to write... I think my creativity needs a rest! XD
> 
> It was important to me to show Virgil's side of the story and what was going through his mind during everything. So... Sorry, but more angst and songs! :P And ya, one of them is OMAM again! XD
> 
> Songs: Boys Will Be Boys by Benny, Hunger by Of Monsters and Men

Virgil laid on his bed, cocooned in his patchwork hoodie, music blaring through his headphones. He gazed at the ceiling, wondering how many times he had been here, curled up into a sobbing mess, crying himself to sleep. More times than not it had been over the same thing. More like the same person. The MCR song he had been listening to had ended and one he recognized to be by one of Thomas's friends took its place.

_"I'm so tired of your illusions and rules that never change."_

He really didn't want to think about _him_ , but his mind seemed to decide the song fit, and proceeded to show him memories of them, together.

_"And my mind is so abusive from taking on the shapes."_

He could so easily skip the song. He could so easily bury the memories. He could so easily ignore the aching in his chest. But he didn't. He refused to believe he still cared for the snake. But even so, he didn't stop the memories, the song, or his heart.

_"When it comes to your love, is it unconditional?"_

_"Shh... It's gonna be okay. Everything's going to be fine."_

Oh, how many times had he told him that? How many times had he embraced him in his arms, stroking his hair, whispering that in his ear? How many times had it been a lie?

_"When it comes to my love, anything is fixable."_

_"Dee," he'd started timidly. He had run through this conversation in his head thousands of times. He thought he had been through every scenario. Oh, how wrong he had been._

_"And all this noise is so relentless..."_

_"I- I'm leaving."_

_"What?" The lying trait spat, turning on his heel to face him. He swallowed, trying to muster up some of the courage Deceit's sudden action had stolen from him._

_"I- I said I'm leaving," Virgil said, attempting to stand taller. "We- this- it's not working out. We've- we've changed, we've grown. We aren't who we used to be, anymore. I- I'm not a child, I can take care of myself."_

_"Virgil," Deceit said stepping closer, his frame towering over him, cornering him. "What's the real reason?"_

_"I need a second to breathe."_

_Virgil looked down at his feet. Should he tell him? Should he tell him what he had done? Should he tell him what he felt? Should he tell him of all the times he put on a brave face as Deceit stormed about, shouting about how Thomas would be fine if he had just lied? Should he remind him of all the times he had started throwing things, of when they almost hit him? Should he tell Deceit of how he would cry when he left, how scared he was that he would hurt him? Should he tell him how afraid he was of him? Of how powerful Deceit was becoming? Should he tell him he was afraid of getting left behind? Of being forgotten? Of being abandoned? Deceit was his only friend. He was basically his brother. The thought of leaving him or of him leaving was a painful one to bare. But even more so was the thought of trying to continue to live like this, to live in the fear that the person he loved most would hurt him. But here he was. No. His mind was made, he was leaving. There was no turning back now. He took a deep breath and faced the lying trait head on._

_"Cause if boys will be boys, and we do the best that we can..."_

_"You want to know the real reason, Dee? The real reason is that you don't care about Thomas. You don't care who you hurt with your lies. You don't care who you hurt with your manipulations. You justify it all by saying it's for the good of Thomas, it's for the best, but you don't see or you don't care to notice who your hurting." Virgil looked away, unable to keep the the barely contained tears hidden much longer. "You're hurting_ me. _" He whispered, almost hoping Deceit wouldn't hear it._

_"Cover for our brothers while we suffer from our own hands."_

_They stood there in uncomfortable silence. He couldn't bare to even try to catch a glimpse of Deceit's face._

_'Breathe, Virgil. Please calm down,' he begged himself. He imagined Deceit staring at him, waiting for him to show any sign of weakness and punish him for it. Virgil inhaled slow and shallow, careful to not show to much movement. It took a few tries, but eventually he got to where he could speak again. "So..." Virgil began. "I- I had to stop it." Virgil turned to Deceit, surprise and suspicion evident on his face. "I had to stop- you." He finally admitted._

_"Boys will be boys, that's the way that this thing goes."_

_Virgil looked away. "I- I told Thomas he need to tell his parents. They- they raised him. They deserve to know. They loved him all this time, this shouldn't be any-"_

_"You!" Deceit's outburst stopped Virgil dead in his tracks. "You- you traitor!"_

_He was terrified. He was down right frozen in fear. This was it. This is what would make Deceit strike. This is what would start his fist flying at him over and over. This is what would cause Deceit to send him flying across the room. This is what would cause Deceit to leave him bleeding, bruised, cut, and crying. He barely heard Deceit yelling, but he couldn't make out what. It didn't matter, his mind was to far gone. The tone was enough to fuel his panicked sobs, much less the words._

_"Mothers lose their sons and their fathers watch them go."_

_He pulled everything of himself as close as he could when he heard Deceit's heavy footsteps grow closer. He braced himself for impact, but what came hurt more than any physical punch ever could._

_"I hate you!" Deceit screamed as Virgil whimpered, ducking his head further into his arms. "You never agree to anything I say! You were the one who made him tell the truth! You're the one who got him hurt! You can't do anything right! Not even for Thomas!"_

_He tried to collect himself, tried to apologize, tried to say something, anything! But the words got caught in his throat as Deceit beat him to it. "I hope I never see you again."_

_"Fathers watch them go."_

_Virgil fell forward, the words like a knife driven through his heart. A sob escaped his lips. Terrified, he looked around the room, only to find it empty. He finally let go. With every fiber of his being he screamed in agony. He paused only to catch his breath, then screamed again, tears running down his face, his eyeshadow virtually no more._

_"Fathers watch them go."_

_It stripped him of all his energy, of every ounce of his strength. But it wasn't enough. Even when he was a gasping mess on the floor, there wasn't anything that was enough to save him from this ocean inside that threatened to swallow him._

_"Mothers lose their sons and their fathers watch then go..."_

. . .

_After how long, he didn't know, he finally picked himself up off the floor and limped to his room. After quietly closing and locking the door, he rushed to his desk to grab his headphones, his and Deceit's most recent drawings still laying on it. He ripped his headphones away from the papers like they were fire and flopped onto his bed, a new wave of tears threatening to overtake him._

_He slipped his headphones on, clicked on a random playlist, and arranged the blankets into a nest. One of Dee's favorite bands started (though he would never admit to it) and Virgil simply curled up in his makeshift nest, too tired to try to find a song that didn't remind him of Deceit._

"You were right. I'll move on. But my lungs feel so small."

_Even in this moment, Virgil could still recall the lyrics. They would never leave him, he couldn't get rid of them._

"I couldn't breathe if I tried."

_There was a soft knock on his door, later that night. "Virgil?" A muffled voice said. He knocked again. "Virgil? Are you awake?"_

"I lay my head on the floor. My beating heart, wanted more."

_Virgil's headphones lay on his pillow after he had torn them off his head when he heard the first knock. He lay completely still, enveloped in blankets, all senses focused on the door._

"But I'll keep it in, and keep you out..."

_The figure tried turning the doorknob, only to find it locked. Virgil could hear him sigh and lean against the door frame._

_"Virgil... If you're awake... I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you..."_

_'Lies,' Virgil thought. 'All of them. Don't trust him.' Only when he finally heard Deceit turn and walk away did he allow a muffled sob to escape._

"I'm drownin'. I'm drownin'."

_He lay there that night, the song continued to play through his head as he cried himself to sleep._

"I'm drownin'. I'm drownin'." Virgil repeated, looking around his room. A few things have changed since he moved in with the main sides, away from the divide of the mindscape, away from Deceit.

"But for the longest time I knew. There was nothing left for us to do."

_"I knew something smelled fishy here..." Virgil had said, glaring at 'Patton'. He wasn't sure what the look he got back was supposed to mean. It was almost like he was somewhere between surprised and proud of Virgil for recognizing him and his lies._

"But I tried, Oh I... Try..."

_He kept coming back, claiming to be apologizing, but Virgil knew better. He watched as every time Deceit would scope out his room looking at everything but him. And every time he would leave behind a purple flower and a yellow one tied together with black ribbon./_

"And in this quiet company..."

_He didn't know what they were for, or why Deceit had left them. For all he knew, it could be to plant seeds for a giant man-eating plant! They could be poisonous on contact! So every time, he'd wrap a paper towel around them and threw them away. He could have asked Logan what they were, what they represented, but he didn't. He didn't want to know. He didn't want anything Deceit offered._

"There's nothing staring back at me."

_Then one day, it stopped. There wasn't a knock at his door that evening. Virgil was sure he'd heard footsteps approach his door. He'd gotten ready to face him, he was even thinking of forgiving him, of reconciling, of starting anew. But the knock never came. Instead, Virgil listened in anguish as the lying side walked away. He wouldn't see him again, not until his reveal to Thomas._

"I'm in need of the sound."

_"VIRGIL!!" He shot out of bed, looking around his room, only to find no one. He swore someone had called him. He laid back down, heart aching from the distress in the voice he heard._

"Hungry for the kill..."

He thought of Deceit in the imagination, how desperate he'd been for a meal. He wondered why. His half snake nature should have helped him to be sustained for at least a week before hunger became an issue.

"But this hunger, it isn't you."

He remembered how Deceit had held the first salamander, gazing at it intently, the pupil of his snake eye becoming a sliver in the vast yellow. He had watched in horror as Deceit had stuffed the creature in his mouth, growling as he swallowed. When he had gone down to catch more, Virgil had to turn away from the mirror.

"Voices disappear..."

He had tried to warn him, tried to tell him that they were poisonous, but Deceit continued.

"When you're speaking in sombre tones."

He remembered Deceit moaning and shivering. He remembered Roman trying to convince Virgil to give him some help. He remembered pretending to not care. But he did. He loved Deceit. And it hurt. In that moment, it had felt good to watch him suffer the way he did. But somehow, it hurt him too. It hurt him to see Deceit suffer. But he couldn't very well just waltz in there and save him after so long.

"I will be the wolf! And when your starving, you'll need it too."

That's it! That's what he could do! He lept up from his bed, abandoning his headphones and rushed to Roman's room. He pushed open the door, and finding Roman to not be there, walked up to the mirror, waving his hand. The mirror revealed the shivering figure of his brother figure. Yes! This would work!

"But this hunger, it isn't you."

Virgil said, and for the first time since the incident that tore them apart, he realized that the hunger in the song could be refering to other things as well. Perhaps even addictions. Perhaps even lies. Virgil breathed in deeply and let it out.

"No, it isn't you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is kinda confusing. During the first song, Virgil is listening to it, that's why it's in italics and underlined, but the second song Virgil is singing it, so it's still underlined but with no italics. Also, regular italics are flashbacks. I'm sorry it's so confusing! I can't think of a better way to do it... :/
> 
> Also, the next chapter may take longer than usual due to a holiday this week. I will try to get it up as soon as I can!


	6. Wolves Without Teeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, celebrating the 4th with my fam (Happy 4th of July to all my Americans!). Also, the title is the name of a song by OMAM again! XD
> 
> No warnings!

Warmth. That was the first thing Deceit felt when he awoke. Warmth and fluff. He sighed and buried his head further into the animal's coat, eyes still closed. It smelled familiar. He wanted to find out what it was, but he didn't want to startle it. He didn't want to lose this moment. It was so nice, so safe. So warm...

. . .

Lonely. That was the ache in his chest that he felt when he woke. Loneliness. He vaguely remembered the warmth of the animal that had curled up next to him. He still didn't know what it was. And now it was gone.

 _Just like Virgil_ , he thought.

Couldn't remember how many days he'd been here. The sun was already weaving it's way through the trees. He needed to get up. He needed water. And he needed his shirt... And boots...

He slowly sat up, his joints protesting after hours of laying on the hard ground. He stretched the best he could, then crawled out of his tent.

He slowly slipped his boots onto his sore and swollen feet, hissing as he did. When that was over, he unclasped his cloak, allowing it to fall off as he slipped on his shirt. He then grabbed his cloak, shook it out, and placed it back inside the makeshift tent. That's when he saw it.

To the left of his tent was a case of water bottles. Fresh, clean water. Deceit didn't hesitate to grab his knife and cut open the case, practically ripping a bottle out, opening it, and gulping it down. He also spotted a bag next to the case. He put the lid back on the bottle, setting it aside, and reached for the bag. He opened it to find a magnesium fire starter, a knife sharpener, some medicines, and a first aid kit. He clutched the bag close.

"Thank you!" he whispered, tears beginning to fill his eyes. He swallowed them back, grabbing the bag and putting it in the tent, then grabbing the water and doing the same. He was running out of room in there, but he wanted those things to stay safe.

He looked around his camp. He had water, now what? The thought of trying to find food didn't settle well with him, given what happened last time. His stomach turned again and he sat down, suddenly light headed. He couldn't keep going like this. His blood pressure and sugar had to be all over the place. He needed something to get him through. Something that wasn't meat...

He grabbed the water bottle again and took a gulp before setting it back down, grabbing his staff, and heading towards the trail.

 _'Never eating any animal from the water again,'_ he thought. He walked along the path, enjoying the fresh smell of the forest, his stomach settling down.

As he walked, the bushes beside him grew thicker. He recognized them to be blackberries, their dark purples and reds showing them to be ripe. He stopped and picked one, holding it up at different angles for inspection. Satisfied, he carefully placed it in his mouth, chewing slowly in case he needed to spit it out. But he didn't. It's flavor danced in his mouth. He moaned at the taste. He swallowed and picked another one, glancing at it, then sticking it in his mouth as well. He untucked his shirt, rolling upwards to create a pouch. He then proceeded to fill it with berries, picking as many as his shirt would hold. When it was filled, he carefully bent down to pick up his staff, then walked back to his camp, careful not to trip. When he got back, he emptied the berries into his hat, then sat down and continued to eat them.

_Snap!_

The sound of a branch snapping came from his right. He nearly dropped his hat, now 2/3rds full of berries. He set it inside his tent, grabbing his staff and pointing the spear end towards the bushes. They rustled and shook. Deceit readied himself to throw the spear when a young wolf lept out of the bushes, carrying something in it's mouth. The wolf tilted it's head at Deceit, just in a curious manner, not threatening at all. Deceit just stood there, unsure of what to do.

Finally, he allowed himself to relax, seeing as rhe wolf was clearly uninterested in hurting him, just curious. He slowly set his staff down and sat down, grabbing his hat full of berries once more, all the while keeping an eye on then young wolf. It sniffed in his general direction, then wandered to the fire pit, dropping it's package next to it, then laying down.

Deceit had to admit, the canine was a beauty. It had a silver tone to it, with steel gray brindling running along it's back, ears, and giving the impression of a mask on it's face. It had white fur around his eyes, like that of a theatre mask. It looked so calm and relaxed laying there in the sun, flicking it's ears as the wind played with it's fur.

Deceit wondered why the wolf was so calm around him, to the point of being comfortable sleeping with him watching, when he remembered the mystery animal from earlier. That smell, that one smell that had no other like it, that some would call heavenly, that was the smell of dog! He was certain it had been this wolf that he had woken up to laying against his side. He allowed a smile to creep onto his face, gazing at the wolf as it lightly snored. He wasn't alone anymore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any name suggestions for the wolf? :D


	7. The Snake and The Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! A chapter title that isn't a song! XD (Or is it?)
> 
> Sorry, another short one, my creativity is getting stretched thin (I've had a lot of projects this week).
> 
> Also, I love all the names you've all come up with! If you have any more suggestions, don't be afraid to share them!

The day had gone on pretty quietly. The wolf continued to appear and disappear into the forest, occasionally bringing back a dead squirrel or other small creature that it would drop at Deceit's feet, nudging it towards him. Deceit simply shook his head and pushed it back towards the wolf. "No thank you," he would say with a small smile, the wolf tilting it's head at him for a moment before grabbing the prey and running around the camp.

The wolf had once again disappeared and Deceit was currently drawing designs in the dirt for a more permanent shelter when a stick flew out of nowhere and hit his head.

"ACK!" Deceit shouted. "WHY!?" He turned to see the wolf sitting just beyond the bushes, tail wagging lightly. Deceit picked up the stick. Holding it up he looked at the wolf. "Do you want this?" He ask. The wags per minute increased to 1k. Deceit smiled and stood.

"Get it!" He said as he threw the stick. The wolf lept up and bound after the stick to where it landed in the bushes. It emerged a few moments later with the stick in it's mouth, trotting happily back to Deceit. It sat and dropped the stick at his feet then looked up at him expectantly.

Deceit bent down, scooped up the stick, and waved it in front of the wolf's face. The wolf lept up and grabbed the other end of the stick, pitting the two in a tug of war, with Deceit eventually allowing the wolf to win. Deceit made a grab for the stick, just for the wolf to spin and trot a few steps away. Deceit tried and failed again, laughing a bit. He began to chase the wolf around the camp, laughing as he did.

It didn't matter that he probably looked like a child, he didn't care. He was just so happy to finally have a friend. The continued playing until nightfall, then they fell asleep together, loneliness no longer having any meaning.

They had eachother, the snake and the wolf.

. . .

Roman rose up in his room and walked over to the mirror, waving his hand to reveal Deceit playing with a wolf. He smiled as Deceit laughed and pet the wolf. Roman didn't need to ask, he already knew who's gift the canine was. The wolf trotted away as Deceit called out, "Romulus?" The wolf turned and snarled at the name as Roman broke out in a fit of hysterical laughter.

"I guess that's a no," Deceit said patting the canine's head.

"No, duh, Sherlock," Roman said as he waved his hand to transform the mirror again and walked away, still laughing to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -evil laughter- Enjoy the fluff while it lasts! Mwuahhahahah! >:D
> 
> And kudos to DavidTheTraveler for that last part! I had to put it in, it was so funny to me! XD
> 
> Romulus is credited with the foundation of Rome. He and his brother were raised by a she-wolf until some shepherds found them and took them in. :P


	8. Stay Till Daylight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, back to our regularly scheduled angst! 
> 
> SIKE! More fluff! XD
> 
> The title is from Stay Till The Daylight by Skillet. It doesn't really fit, i know, but I'm running out of songs! Comment some suggestions please! ^^
> 
> WARNING: Description of cleaning of an animal (as in gutting/butchering). Don't read if you have a problem with eating animals or blood. :P
> 
> But this time it's actually dead when he eats it, so that's good... 
> 
> Also! So not use this fan fic as a guide for how to clean and cook game! I wrote in a lot of mistakes on purpose! Not that I think anyone would take this as a guide, but just to be safe... :P

He lay curled up in the sun, humming as both his snake and human halves enjoyed the warmth. He had been drifting in and out of sleep, and from what he could recall, the wolf had been gone since he woke this morning. That quickly changed when he heard something small hit the ground next to his head.

He groaned and buried his head further into his cloak, which he had laid on the ground. He felt something cold and wet sniff around his ear.

"Mghh... Not now, Wolfee." he mumbled.

The wolf huffed at the name and quite dramatically (in Deceit's opinion) flopped down next to him.

"I know you don't like it," he said. "But it's all I've got till we find one that suits you."

The wolf sighed and stretched out, opting to taking in some sun as well. They both dozed there into the afternoon till the sun's rays became interrupted by the shadows of the trees.

The wolf attempted to wake Deceit by licking his face, to which Deceit voiced his disapproval. The wolf left and Deceit sighed before something was dropped on his stomach. He looked down to find a dead hare. He looked up at the wolf who acted as if he'd no idea how the creature got there.

"Keep this up and I will call you Romulus." He got a play snarl in return. Deceit picked up the hare and set it next to the wolf.

"I told you, I'm never eating meat again." The wolf just sat there and looked at him like a mother with a child throwing a tempertantrum.

"No!"

Still staring.

"I'm not going to eat it!"

The wolf got up, grabbed Deceit's knife, dropped it at his feet, and pushed the hare closer to him.

Deceit slumped in defeat. "Fine," he spat.

He picked up both and put them in a safe place, then went in search of a hard flat surface to work. He found a sturdy and wide piece of wood and brought it back, then grabbed his knife and set the hare on top of the board, then kneeled down next to it. He just played with it for a while, not entirely enjoying it's dead weight. The wolf still sat and stared at him.

"I've- never actually... Done this before..." Deceit said, hesitating. The wolf gave a small yap of encouragement. Deceit took a deep breath. "Okay... It can't be too hard, right? Just... Get it to the clean meat? Like the chickens Thomas cooks. Ya, just get it looking like that..." He gulped and looked to the wolf, which gave him a nod. He sighed and looked back down at the hare. It's glazed over eyes haunted him. The head had to be the first to go.

He brushed the ears forward, continuously repositioning the knife, trying to find the most comfortable way to cut the animal's neck.

"What the hell. It's dead!" He exclaimed to himself. And with that the head was gone, a pool of blood spilling from the broken neck. He looked up to see the wolf looking at the head.

"You want it?" he asked, getting a tail wag in reply. He grabbed the head by the ears and flung it as far away as he could, specks of blood showering the camp as the wolf took off after it. "Don't bring it back!" he shouted after the canine. He turned his attention to the now headless hare.

He repeatedly turned it over, feeling for what was meat and what was not. There wasn't much on the lower legs, so he cut those off. He definitely wasn't going to eat the fur, so he began to cut it off, only to find it easily peeled off. Once the fur was gone, he was able to see it now more as food rather than a dead animal.

Till he got to the guts. He accidentally  punctured the liver with the tip of his knife, and now there was twice the blood everywhere. He vaguely thought of the consequences of blood at his campsite, but it was too late now, so he might as well continue.

He grabbed as much of the insides as he could and set them next to the hare. He scooped again, this time most of them were stuck to the walls. He used his blood covered knife to cut them away. There was still byproduct in the intestions, so he cut as much of it away as he could. By the time he was done, he had a very amateurly butchered hare and a bloody camp.

He sighed, grabbing everything and walking down to the lake to rinse. He knelt by the lakes edge, glaring at the seemingly "safe" shoreline to his right, remembering how it had swallowed him that second day.

He rinsed his hands, then grabbed the hare and swished it in the water, turning it an ominous red. Some salamanders swam closer, attracted by the smell of blood, and his stomach churned. He quickly finished, grabbed his things, and headed back to camp.

He set the hare on top of the freshly washed board and set to work on starting a fire. It was much easier than the first few nights now that he had the magnesium from the bag that appeared with the wolf and water. He wanted to ask who and given him these things, but something held him back. He wasn't sure if it was fear or wisdom.

Once the fire was going he realized he had made a mistake. He didn't know how he was going to cook the hare without the branches holding it catching on fire. He looked back at the hare. Maybe he could cut the meat off the bones and have it high enough over the fire that the branches wouldn't burn, but it would smoke the meat? Ya, that would work!

He scavenged around the camp site for branches that hadn't been chewed by the wolf. He manged to find two sturdy ones that could hold up one above the fire. He dug two holes into the earth on opposite sides of the fire and placed the branches in them. He packed the remaining space between the dirt and branch with more dirt, wiggling the branches a bit to test their sturdiness. Satisfied, he carefully laid the final branch on top of the other two and went to further divide the hare.

He cleaned up his knife and decided to cut the back legs first as they were the thickest and would likely take the longest to dry. He severed the first leg from the body, then cut four times down it's length till he hit the bone. He then shaved the meat off of the bone, putting it aside and saving the bones for the wolf. He did the same with the other leg, then stood up and carefully drapped the meat slices over the branch, careful to not lose them to the flames.

He went back and continued with the hare until the stick was covered with hanging meat and he had a small pill left over. He thought about setting up another branch, but he didn't want to accidentally knock the first down, so he just decided to wait.

He wondered where the wolf had gone. He hadn't seen him since he threw the head into the bushes. It wasn't until the second batch was on and Deceit was nibbling on some of the dried meat that the wolf emerged again and plopped down next to him, seemingly proud of himself for getting Deceit to eat, but also in pain.

Deceit stroked the wolf's head, not quite sure how to help as the wolf dozed off. He finished smoking the meat and put the left overs in old water bottles. He then carried the wolf into the tent with him. Stroking his soft fur until they were both asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Ya. I've never cleaned a hare before (we've only gone fishing, so I've got plenty of experience in the fish department xP) so i had to look up videos on how to clean hares. I think my friends and fam would question my sanity if they saw my browsing history... XD


	9. Alone, I Fight These Animals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another OMAM song! Yay!! XD
> 
> I stumbled across this song today as I finished up the chapter. It's called Six Weeks and it's about survival and there's a line in it that says, "With a wolf I share the same cold meal," and I'm like, oh! This is this fic's theme song! XD 
> 
> So more fluff! (Don't trust me!)
> 
> WARNINGS: Blood and injury! Also, animals fighting! Please stay safe!!!

_Scratch. Sniff. Stratch._

Deceit heard, still half asleep. He moaned and pulled his fluffy pillow closer to him.

 _'Wait, what!?'_ Deceit opened his eyes to see the wolf sleeping contently next to him. But the noises outside still continued. He heard a low growl and froze in fear. Whatever was outside his tent, it sounded big. And hungry, judging by it's rummaging.

 _'The blood!'_ Deceit realized, mentally kicking himself. _'It can smell the blood from the hare!'_

The animal's scavenging continued and all Deceit could do was hope the wolf didn't wake up and that the animal would go away. But just the opposite happened.

The wolf began to stir, Deceit desperately trying to sooth it back to sleep. The animal heard and came closer, it's shadow falling over the tent. Deceit's eyes widened when he realized what it was.

Two feet away from him, seperated by just a tarp, a grizzly bear stood, scratching at the dirt next to his tent that he and the wolf were currently inside of. Deceit coward and pulled the wolf closer to him. The bear growled again, causing Deceit to shake in fear.

 _'Please! Please go away! Please go away!'_ Deceit repeated to himself. The wolf stirred again, and this time he awoke, smelling the air and snarled. The bear growled in reply and began to move towards the entrance.

"No!" Deceit whispered as the wolf got up teeth barred.

Suddenly, everything erupted into chaos. The last thing Deceit saw was the wolf leap out of the tent before the blue tarp swarmed his vision. He suddenly felt like his leg was on fire. He screamed as the battle cries of the animals sounded a few feet away. He tossed and turned, trying to escape as the darkness threatened to pull him in. He fought and wrestled with it, freeing himself from it's grasp.

He looked up and saw the wolf on the bear's back, biting down on it's neck harshly. The bear roared and tried to turn to grab the wolf. Deceit could only sit there, the shook starting to take it's toll.

 _Run!_ He heard. _Run!_ He quickly snatched up the bag, a water bottle, and his staff and took of down the trail. He didn't know where he was going, he just had to get away. Everything burned, but fear kept driving him forward, further away from the danger.

He limp-ran, dragging himself along. He stumbled and almost fell, but each time caught himself and kept going. He fled as far as his legs would take him before he collapsed. He tried to crawl further before exhaustion overtook him, and he was gone.

. . .

The ominous pool of blood that he was lying in wasn't the first thing he noticed. The first thing he noticed was the significant loss of heat. He was alone. Again. The emptiness settled inside him, causing him to loose hope. There was no reason to get up. Only then did he notice the blood.

He shot up, muscles, joints and bones protesting with a sharp pain. He let out a small scream before focusing on breathing and calming himself. He finally did, and he looked at his leg, only for his calm mind to be sent into entropy once more.

There, on his lower left leg was a deep gash, almost 5 inches long. Blood was still spilling out around it. He felt a sudden need for sleep. He lay back down, his head light and spinning, vision blurring, however he refused to give in, instead using Virgil's breathing methods.

He was finally able to see again, and slowly lifted himself up, gasping and whimpering from the pain it caused. He did his best to keep his injured leg still, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. He took off the bag, set it next to him, and rummaged through it until he found the first aid kit. He tried to recall how to take care of a wound like this.

Thomas had gone through CPR and Basic First Aid training back in high school, but that was a long time ago. It didn't help that his mind was already in a buzz. He barely remembered that you had to stop the bleeding by applying pressure to the wound.

He looked through the first aid kit, and seeing there were no rags, he sighed and undid his shirt, slipping it off and folding it so the clasps wouldn't agitate the wound. He took a deep breath before laying the shirt on top of the wound, hissing as cloth met bare flesh. As he got used to the pain, he pulled the shirt around his leg and tied it tight. He noticed the blood was already soaking through.

He stuffed the first aid back inside the bag along with the water bottle that had landed a bit away when he fell. He needed to get to a safer area, no matter how much it hurt to get there. He slowly picked himself up and began to limp away, leaning heavily on his staff.

He was shaking badly and swaying with each step, his vision blurring then clearing, then blurring again. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know how far he's gotten. He didn't know if he was going in circles. He just kept going, trying to ignore the pain.

But it screamed at him. It refused to go unnoticed. With every step the fabric dug into his flesh, eliciting hisses and curses from him. He wanted to lay down and die, but he kept going. Eventually it became to painful to even attempt to use his injured leg, so he was down to his staff and his right leg, holding his left one barely above the ground. When it hit something, pain shot through the whole limb and up his spine as he howled and cried.

He didn't care about the tears running down his face. He didn't care how weak he looked. He didn't care how dirty he looked. He felt like he was walking through hell. If he thought he was in pain that first night, or those few days when he was sick, he had been so wrong. This, this was pain. This was torture. This was suffering.

He didn't know why he kept going, why he even tried anymore. It's not like he was ever going to escape this forest that he had no recollection of entering. Was it that? Was he losing his mind? Was he really not who he thought he was? He couldn't even remember his name. He couldn't remember where he lived. He couldn't remember what it even looked like.

A sob escaped him as he realized he didn't even remember what home meant. His heart knew what it should feel like, but he couldn't remember ever experiencing that feeling. Maybe he didn't even have a home? Maybe he's lived in this forest his whole life, but just went insane and lost his memory? Ya, that made sense. Right?

He sat down not so gracefully and curled up. He needed to sleep, he was so tired. He couldn't think anymore. Any coherent thought squeezed his brain to the point he felt he would suffocate. He had emotions, though. He couldn't bother trying to put them into words, instead just laying there and feeling them, riding them out as he cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! D: 
> 
> So ya, if you can't tell, at the end there Deceit started going into shock from blood loss, which is why he was so disoriented and couldn't remember things and was getting sleepy. 
> 
> Also, I might take a few extra days before updating again. I need to outline the rest of this fic so I'm not just like, "Oh, let's throw this at him!" xD It's not funny...... It's really not.... 
> 
> Idk, enjoy having your emotions crushed with me! XP


	10. Leave A Light On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And I know your down and out now but I need you to be brave  
> Hiding from the truth ain’t going to make this all okay  
> I feel your pain; if you don’t feel our grace then you’ve lost your way.."
> 
> Ya, I love this song. xD It's Leave A Light On by Tom Walker. I was gonna incorporate the lyrics in, but it just didn't fit with the action, so I left it. But the lyrics are kind of like Virgil's subconscious plea to Deceit. <3
> 
> Warnings: Graphic description of injuries (basicly the same as the last chapter).

During the few weeks Deceit had been in the imagination, Roman and Virgil took turns watching him, analyzing his actions, trying to decide if he'd changed since the last time Virgil saw him. And the answer, to Virgil's relief and distress, was yes.

Yes, he had changed. He showed his emotions more. He was kinder. He was softer. He seemed remorseful over what happened between them. He wasn't the powerful tyrant Virgil remembered. He was broken. He was crushed with guilt. He had lost hope. And that left Virgil unknowing of what to do.

Either he freed Deceit from the imagination and explained what had happened, or he left him there until Deceit found a way out or just gave up trying. He could also free him and pretend that he and Roman didn't know what had happened, or that it was all a dream. But he didn't know how long he and Roman could lie to the lying trait without getting found out. 

No, he knew he couldn't just leave Deceit in the imagination, however the idea of trying to explain why he had convinced Roman to help him put Deceit through all this wasn't the most comforting either.

While Roman was in semi-control of the imagination, he and Virgil had added an element if randomness, meaning the forest acted on it's own within the laws of nature. They hadn't purposefully placed poisonous salamanders in the lake, they were just there based upon the area Roman and Virgil had used for reference. Same thing with the quicksand. 

The wolf, Virgil had, with great difficulty, spawned in the imagination without Roman when he'd delivered the fresh supplies. However, anything spawned in the imagination could not leave to enter the mindscape. 

The mindscape was the representation of Thomas's complete area of thought, with each of the sides' rooms making up different areas of thinking and perspectives, while the sides themselves represent his personality. 

The imagination, however, is where things can be created without limits. It's where Thomas subconsciously goes when he dreams. Each of the sides are able to influence the imagination, which leads to different types of dreams, such as anxious dreams of being late, logical dreams of solving all the math problems correctly, courageous dreams of being a brave knight, and absolutely ridiculous dreams of rainbow unicorns racing nyan cats. 

Logically, Thomas knows they aren't real, that they're just dreams, but something helps him believe they are real, that he is there doing those things. But lately, Virgil realizes, that something has been missing. And Thomas's sleep schedule has been paying for it. 

Which in turn leads Thomas not doing his best work, which leads to Virgil panicking. Which in turn leads to Patton being overly emotional, which leads to Logan being stressed and snippy, which leads to Roman firing off a few comebacks which lead to Thomas having a headache and being so done with everything, not even wanting to go hang out with friends.

Virgil was about to continue to let his thoughts spiral downward when Roman suddenly rose up in his room. 

"VIRGIL!" He shouted. "WE NEED TO HELP DEE NOW!" And with that, he grabbed Virgil's arm, barely leaving Virgil enough time to toss his headphones on his bed before they rose up in Roman's room. As soon as they were there, Roman rushed over to the mirror, waving his hand and stepping aside to reveal Deceit laying in a pool of blood, coughing and unconscious.

Virgil's eyes widdened, the color leaving his face, body beginning to shake. "What-" he chocked out. "What happened?"

"A Bear." Roman replied stiffly. "It probably followed the scent of blood from the hare. It was rummaging around his camp when the wolf attacked it and Deceit was injured. As far as I can tell, the bear's claw got him pretty deep on his left leg," Roman said, gesturing to where blood was still spilling out of the wound.

Virgil's stomach flipped at the sight. He look at Roman, about to speak when they both heard a scream and turned to the mirror to see Deceit crying and shaking. Roman glared at Virgil, who pretended to ignore him and watched Deceit calm himself with Virgil's breathing methods. He tried to find something in the bag he had with him. When he couldn't find it, he took off his shirt, revealing his torn scales and bruised skin. Virgil bit his lip to keep from gasping.

They watched as he tied his shirt around his leg, got up, and began limping away. He didn't last more than a few minutes before he collapsed to the ground, unconscious once more.

Roman stood up and headed to the door. "I'm getting Logan." he said gruffly.

"Roman, wait!" Virgil called.

Roman spun around. "There is no question this time, _Virgil_." He practically growled. "We're helping him."

Virgil stood up. "I never said we weren't. Just- please, don't tell the others. Just grab the first aid and let's go." 

Roman glared at him a moment more before complying, letting go of the door knob, grabbing the first aid before jumping through the mirror. Virgil soon followed.

It felt weird being there. It was strange to see Deceit like this, to be in the same place as him when he looked so weak. They cleaned him up the best they could. Roman disinfected and stitched the wound while Virgil attempted to ease the bruises and pain. The scary thing was, Virgil could remember exactly what had caused each and every single mark. 

Some had been from tripping. Some had been from him falling. Some had been from trees or rocks falling on him.

His scales were coarse and dry, showing his dehydration. There was some stuck shed too. Roman conjured a bucket of warm water and a rag at Virgil's request, then went back to work on Deceit's leg. Virgil carefully set the damp rag over Deceit's scales and gently scrubbed away at the stuck shed. Deceit moaned a bit and tried to curl away from the touches, but Roman held him still. 

"Are we taking him back?" Roman questioned.

Virgil felt his heart die with his words. "Not yet," he replied.

Roman huffed and finished his work, then cleaned up. Virgil removed one final piece of shed, then stood up.

Deceit looked so bare, so helpless. Virgil wanted to do more, to take him back, to hold him like a child and apologize for as long as he could. But he didn't. He couldn't. He didn't know why.

He reached down and took Deceit's hand in his, stroking his scales. He heard Deceit gasp and whimper.

"V-Virgil...." he whispered. Virgil stopped and looked at his face in shock. But his eyes were still closed, and his breathing said he was unconscious. Virgil carefully set Deceit's hand down, the stood up and took off his hoodie.

"What are you doing?" Roman asked behind him.

"He doesn't have his cloak." Virgil replied. And with that, he laid his hoodie on top of Deceit, covering as much of him as he could. He looked down to double check Roman's handywork on the wound, and nodded before turning and stepping back through the mirror. 

Roman turned to look at Deceit covered by Virgil's hoodie and shook his head, stepping through the mirror as well, wondering why things had to be so confusing.

Neither of them heard the bushes rustling a few feet away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next last few chapters are going to take a little longer than usual, I want to make sure they're good! <3 So, I will probably update every two days for them! Thank you so much for continuing to read this and suffer with me and Dee! xD


	11. Jumpsuit, Cover Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHH! HAVE YOU HEARD TWENTY ONE PILOT'S NEW SONGS? AHHHHHHHH! Okay, I'm not a big fan, but they are good! If you haven't heard them yet, definitely check them out! 
> 
> WARNINGS: Self Depreciation, Self Harm, Attempted Suicide. Stay safe please! <3

_Fear._

_Shadows leaned over him, figures in darkness._

_Pain._

_"Are we taking him back?"_

_Suffering._

_"No."_

_Regret._

"V-Virgil...." he whispered. _"V-Virrrg...."_

. . .

He was warm. He was still in pain, but he felt safe. He opened his eyes to see the trees staring down at him. He closed them again. This warmth felt so nice. It almost made up for the pain. And he felt clean. Cleaner than he had for a long time.

He brushed his arm along his side. The stuck shed he'd been battling was gone. The bruises and cuts he'd been sporting had diminished greatly.

He ran his fingers along the fabric that lay atop him. It felt nice. There was a mix of different fabrics. And some aesthetic stiching. He looked down and couldn't believe his eyes.

Black and purple gently wrapped itself around him, white stitching occasionally graced the fabric.

"Virgil..." Deceit breathed.

He gripped the fabric, disbelief and shock painted his face. He slowly brought up to his nose, closed his eyes, and breathed in. Yes. It was Virgil's jacket. He hadn't been imagining the voices. They had been here. But they left him.

His heart clenched in fear. _They left him. They left him. They left him._ He didn't completely realize how scared he was to be alone until then. _They left him._ His mind said on repeat.

_Alone. Again. No one wants you. Everyone hates you. You might as well die._

"NOOOOO!" Deceit screamed and curled up under the jacket. "NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!" That voice, the one that had taunted him after Virgil left. The one that drove him to nearly end it all. The monster within.

_That's all you are. A monster. A snake unworthy of love. Of grace. Of friendship._

"NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

_Nothing more than a lying, deceiving serpent that doesn't care about anyone but himself. All you do is hurt. That's all you've ever been good at. Hurting. Hurting Thomas. Hurting Virgil._

Deceit cried and brought the jacket closer to himself. He was so tired. He was tired of trying to fight the voice. He knew that they were all lies, but he couldn't shake them. He couldn't escape him. They came over him like a flood, they entangled him like a web. They stole his breath like a noose. They were him. He was Deceit. He was lies. He scoffed at the idea of trying to escape them.

"You're right." he said, defeated. "I am a monster. I am unworthy of love. I am unworthy  of grace, of friendship, of anything anyone could offer me." He sat up, grimacing through the pain. He pulled the jacket off. "I am unworthy of Virgil. Of his compassion. Of his love, of-" he chocked, tears blurring his vision. "I am unworthy of his forgiveness."

And with that, he folded the jacket up, set it down, grabbed his things, and limped onward.

. . .

He sat leaning against a tree. He couldn't think anymore. He was back at square one, and panic kept him there. He couldn't organize his thoughts. He couldn't think of what he needed. There was no next step. He was going to die. He deserved to die.

He shifted his position and hissed at the pain that shot up his injured leg. He laid his head back against the rough bark and let it fall to the side. He spotted his bag laying next to him out of the corner of his eye. The handle of his knife was sticking out of it. A thought came to him that made his heart stop.

He could end it. He could end it right now. All of it. He could leave this forsaken existence. He could be done with it all.

He rolled his head away. No, he wasn't going to do that. Thomas needed him. Whether or not he liked it, he had a job to do.

 _Well, you haven't been doing a very good job of it_ , the voice said again.

Deceit swallowed and looked back at the bag. He saw himself lifting the knife to his neck. He saw the swipe of the blade before the vision vanished.

' _No_ ,' he thought. ' _I won't do it.'_

_Do it._

"No."

 _DO IT!_ The voice roared at him.

He flinched, though there was no one around to flinch away from. He stayed still, refusing to move.

 _Fine._ The voice said.

Deceit watched his body reach for the bag.

"No..." he whispered. He felt his palm grasp the handle. "No-" he chocked. He felt his weighted hand rise. "No!" He sobbed. His body wouldn't listen. It brought the knife to his neck. He cried in anguish. "I- I don't want to die!" he gasped.

_Too bad._

He felt his arm tense and he closed his eyes.

_-SWOOSH!-_

The weight was gone. Deceit opened his eyes, still terrified. The voice was gone. He looked down at his now empty hand. He heard a scuffle and looked up to see a raven, knife under it's feet. The bird had a purple shine to it with matte black feathers under it's eyes. It looked close to crying.

"Please," it said, startling Deceit. It- that was impossible. It couldn't be.

"Virgil?" Deceit questioned.

The raven lowered it's head, almost in shame. "Please. Don't do it. Not over this." Virgil said, looking up at Deceit pleadingly. "Don't take your life because of me."

"I- I-" Deceit tried but couldn't get the words out. "I-" he broke down, a cry sounding from deep within his heart. He felt a presence wrap it's arms around him. He leaned into the warmth, the safety they held.

"Please-" Deceit sobbed. "Please- don't leave. Don't leave me again."

A gasp escaped Virgil as the words stabbed his heart. He'd succeed. He realized that subconsciously, this was never about testing Deceit. It had always been, whether he recognized it or not, to get Deceit to experience the pain he had. To break him the way he had been broken.

He pulled Deceit closer as they both sobbed into eachother's shoulders. Virgil ran his hand along the scales on Deceit's back shushing him and whispering in his ear.

"I-I'll come back." Virgil said. "I'll come back for you, and I'll bring you home. I promise."

Deceit hiccuped and nodded against Virgil's chest. They stayed like that for a while, holding eachother close, neither one wanting to let go. Virgil started humming.

"Jumpsuit. Jumpsuit, cover me up. Jumpsuit. Jumpsuit, cover me." he sang hoarsely. He felt Deceit sigh and relax beneath him, so he continued.

"I can't believe how much I hate, pressures of a new day roll my way. Jumpsuit. Jumpsuit, cover me up. Jumpsuit. Jumpsuit, cover me."

Virgil summoned his jacket and slipped it onto Deceit. He brushed the tears off Deceit's cheek and laid him down. He grabbed the knife and placed it back in the bag, setting it out of his reach. He stood and watched Deceit's hiccups fade into shakey breaths as he slipped into sleep.

Virgil sighed and walked away, nearly breaking into tears again as he stepped through the mirror. He had a lot of apologizing and explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i tried to do a Jekyll/Hyde thing with the voice Deceit hears. That voice is the dark part of him. The things it said about Deceit are actually about itself. But it drags Dee down with it. Dee tried to escape it before, back before the fight, that's why Virgil had stuck around, because he recognized the signs.
> 
> And Virgil changed back into his human form to hug Dee. Sorry if that was confusing!
> 
> Also....Y'all need to stop hate'n on Verge, he's the literal embodiment of anxiety. Yes he overreacted when he tried to stop Deceit, but he was young and fearful of him. Now that he's older and stronger, it's not uncommon to want revenge, however wrong that may be. Remember Deceit was more aggressive before as well, and that can be terrifying to a young person.
> 
> That said, I love the support you all have given me during this! You are the reason I've tried to update as often as possible! I hope the end will be satisfying! <3


	12. What Goes On In My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "No one knows what goes on up inside my head. There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread."
> 
> Antidote by Faith Marie: https://youtu.be/-kv10eAxJiM
> 
> Sorry, i know we've kind of been stuck in this moment for two chapters, but we'll move on soon! 
> 
> WARNINGS: Suicide Attempt, Panic Attacks! Please stay safe! <3

He needed to see him. It wasn't wise, he had been highly emotional, but his protection instinct was so strong. Something wasn't right when he and Roman had helped Deceit, but he couldn't pinpoint what exactly. Yet it beckoned him. As if someone was calling out to him, begging him to rescue them.

 _"V-Virgil..."_ He remembered Deceit gasping. Somehow, Deceit knew they were there, even though he was unconscious.

_"Are we taking him back?"_

_"No."_

_. . ._

_"There's no question this time, Virgil. We're helping him."_

Oh, he hated himself. He hated himself for even slightly enjoying seeing Deceit in pain, in agony. He hated himself for ever thinking this was a good idea, that this was okay. He hated himself for making excuses to defend it, for telling himself it was to protect the others, to protect Thomas.

No, he'd done exactly what Deceit had. He lied to himself, to justify himself and his actions because he didn't want to be responsible, to be accountable for them and the consequences. The truth, the cold, hard, painful truth, was that he wanted revenge. He wanted revenge and he let it consume him. He pretended it was everything and everyone else's fault but his own. He had let himself become the very thing he hated.

He remembered Deceit's screaming.

_"NOOOO! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"_

He remembered him crying. And then he remembered, the voice.

_"I- need to tell you something," Deceit said, sitting down on the edge of Virgil's bed._

_Virgil slipped his headphones off and laid them down, giving Deceit his full attention. "What's wrong?" Virgil asked._

_Deceit hesitated. "I- um. I have- there's this thing-" Deceit struggled, not accustomed to sharing his vulnerabilities._

_Virgil grasped his hand and stroked it. Deceit sighed and relaxed._

_"I- hear this voice. In my head."_

_Virgil thought for a moment. "Well, that's not uncommon. I often 'hear' a voice in my head as well, but it's usually my own." He said looking up at Deceit._

_"No, it's- not like that." Deceit said, looking away. "It- it tells me to do things that- that I know will hurt people. It- tries to control me. It lies to me. It tells me terrible lies that it know aren't true, yet I fear them, and that- that let's it control me. Because I don't want them to be true."_

_Virgil looked up at Deceit, somewhat suprised and concerned for him. In all the time he's known him, he never shared these things. He never shared anything that made him look weak, no matter how much Virgil told him he would still love him and accept him. The fact that he was now meant that he had probably been dealing with this for a long time and he couldn't fight it alone anymore. He needed help. He's needed it for a long time. This confession was a beautiful thing, that he trusted Virgil enough to tell him this, and Virgil took that to heart._

_"What lies does it tell you?" Virgil asked softly._

_Deceit took a sharp breath. Virgil rubbed his hand again, encouraging him._

_"It- um. It says- it says you'll leave me." Deceit said through gasps. He turned to look at Virgil, tears shining in his eyes, grabbing his sleeves, afraid of letting go. "It says you'll leave me and it'll be all my fault, that I drove you away. That you'll hate me and I'll be alone and- and!" He started hyperventilating._

_"Shh..." Virgil said, pulling him into a hug, letting Deceit bury his head into his chest. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay, Dee. Just breathe." He felt Deceit try and fail to draw in a full breath. He felt his shirt become wet with tears. But it didn't matter. What mattered was Dee._

_"Shh, with me, okay? Like this. Breath in for four seconds..." he said breathing in, Deceit following suit. "Hold for seven." He and Dee held their breath together. "Out for eight." They both exhaled. "Again." Virgil said, this time counting. When Deceit had calmed down, Virgil reached up to wipe the tears from his face._

_"You're right." Virgil said. "They are lies. I'm not going to leave you." He said, watching as Deceit's face filled with hope._

_. . ._

_"Dee, I'm leaving."_

_. . ._

_"Please don't leave. Don't leave me again."_

. . .

Virgil crashed into a wall, vision blurring, chest refusing to expand. He gasped and tried to gulp in air, but it wouldn't come. Guilt crushed his heart. He couldn't breath. He was drowning.

. . .

 _"VIRGIL!"_ He heard in the dead of night.

. . .

"Dee..." Virgil whispered.

He felt figures around him, touching him, talking to him. But they felt so far away. He couldn't even cry. He couldn't talk. He couldn't breath. "Dee..." he whispered as someone wrapped their arms around him and he blacked out.

 

. . .

 

_He sunk into Roman's room. Seeing no one was there, he waved at the mirror and set up post on Roman's bed. The mirror revealed Deceit stroking the jacket Virgil had left him with wonder. Everything was fine until Deceit screamed._

_"NOOO! NOT YOU AGAIN!" He said, feebly trying to curl up under the safety of the jacket._

_Virgil watched him eventually cease arguing with the voice, in fact, changing to agree with it._

_"I- I'm unworthy of Virgil's forgiveness." Deceit said, stealing Virgil's breath._

_"No. No you're not." Virgil said in the empty room. And with that, he transformed into a bird and flew into the imagination._

_. . ._

_Later that evening, he watched as Deceit agrued with the voice about something. As soon as his hand wrapped around the knife and Deceit began crying, Virgil knew exactly what was happening, what the voice was trying to make him do. And seeing Deceit couldn't stop it, Virgil swooped down, stripping the knife from his hand and landing a few feet away._

_He and Deceit stared at eachother for a moment, tears threating to over take him before he found the courage to speak. "Please." he said. "Please don't do this. Please don't take your life because of me."_

_And Deceit broke down. He cried and Virgil transformed back into his human form, slowly walking towards him, and wrapped his arms around Deceit._

_"I'll come back." He said. "I'll come back and I'll bring you home. I promise."_

 

. . .

 

"I promise." Virgil mumbled, waking up to find himself in his bed. "I promised." He said to himself. He needed to tell the others, if Roman hadn't already. He lifted the covers off of him and set his feet on the floor. "Hold on, Dee. Just a little bit longer."


	13. Be Still and Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha! Ha... Post a chapter saying I'll be gone and that I won't be updating... Writes a whole chapter in one day... -face palm-
> 
> I just couldn't bear to leave you without and angst this week! XD
> 
> The song is Breathe by Colton Dixon.
> 
> Warnings: Description of injuries.

Thomas sighed. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He's felt it these past few weeks. He wasn't even sure what this feeling was. He wasn't sure of he actually wanted to know. But he knew he didn't like it. He knew he wanted to get rid of it. But first he had to figure out what "it" was. So of course, the best way to find out was to stand in the middle of his living room and summon his sides. 

They all appeared in their usual places, each with their usual gusto. Except Virgil, who's eyes were rimmed with pink and eyeshadow more blurry than usual. The others cast him worried glances as well, which Virgil pretended to not see. 

"Hey, Kiddo! What's up?" Patton asked with his usual smile. 

Thomas returned the gesture, then let his face fall into a frown again. "Guys. Something's... Wrong. I don't know what it is, but lately I've been really emotional. And frankly, I haven't been the greatest at keeping things secret." He caught Roman and Virgil glance at eachother, but brushed it off. "I know lying isn't good, but sometimes it is necessary... Like for a surprise birthday or just to keep myself safe. But- ugh, i don't know. I just don't know! I was hoping you would?" Thomas questioned, looking around. 

"Well-" Patton started, gaining everyone's attention. "I've been feeling what you have, and I can say it's not mine. Those emotions, regret, sorrow, guilt, they're from someone else, not me." Patton said, glancing at the others. Thomas nodded and looked around as well. 

Logan cleared his throat. "I have been sensing another side using a high amount of logical thinking as of late, if that is of any help." 

"Do you know for what purpose?" Thomas asked. 

Logan thought for a moment. "It seems to have to do with the process of achieving basic needs. Food. Water. Shelter. However, I can not say who it is exactly." 

Thomas nodded and looked between the last two sides. "Do you two have anything?" he asked. Virgil had his hood up, fidgeting with the drawstrings and rocking himself while Roman looked to the floor before clearing his throat. 

"I- um. I- it's me," he said. Virgil stopped his fidgeting and stared at him, as did everyone. Roman squirmed a little under their stares. "I- um. It's my fault. It was all my fault. It was completely my idea. I just thought-" 

"No." Everyone jumped and turned to the echoing voice. "It's mine. I convinced Roman to help me. But it was my idea and it was my fault." 

"Virgil..." Thomas started carefully. "What idea? What are you two talking about?" 

Virgil sighed, put his hood down, and looked up at Thomas. "Deceit." 

The atmosphere seemed to thicken immediately. Logan glared from behind his glasses. Even Patton's smile seemed to become a little more forced. Only Roman amd Virgil looked to be without any anger. If fact, they seemed more upset with themselves than anyone else. 

"What about him?" Thomas said, not exactly enjoying talking about the snake, maybe fearing he would suddenly pop up in the middle of their conversation. 

"He's hurt." 

Dead silence. No one moved. No one dared to breath. 

"We-" 

"Roman! Let me do this!" Virgil snapped, effectively shutting Roman up. 

"Virgil..." Thomas started, Virgil looking back to him. "How did Deceit get hurt?" 

Virgil looked down again. "He... I wanted revenge." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never thought I'd tell you this, but here it goes. 

I knew Deceit before I came to you all. I lived with him. We were "gray sides". We didn't live with you, the light sides, and we didn't live with the dark sides, whom I'd prefer to not talk about right now. We were on our own. And we made a place for ourselves. We grew close. We considered eachother brothers. 

But around Thomas's teenage years, Deceit began to grow power hungry. He tried to influence Thomas to lie at every turn. And when you didn't? You don't want to know. 

I- I started to fear him. I started to fear what he was doing. His lies began to fuel my anxiety. And- finally. I had enough. But- I guess I could have handled it better. We got into a huge fight and I left. 

He came to my room multiple times claiming to apologise, but- I didn't want- I didn't want to- forgive him. And then one day, he stopped coming. And I did see him again until he revealed himself to you." Virgil said, gesturing to Thomas. 

"I- I wanted to test him. To see if he'd changed. At least, that's what I told myself. I talked it over with Roman and we made a forest. Then we jumped Deceit and put him in it. We watched him to see how he'd react, and... Well... He got sick. He got hurt... He- he tired to kill himself..." 

Now it was Roman's turn to stare. 

"I- stopped him. And I told him I would come back... And- he told me... He asked me to not leave him again- and-" Virgil gasped and collapsed to the floor, clutching his hoodie tightly. 

"It's all my fault!" He sobbed. "I was supposed to protect you! But I failed! I wasn't supposed to be like him! But- look at what I've done!" He began hyperventilating. "DEE IS HURT AND DIEING AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!! I HURT HIM LIKE HE DID AND THE WORST PART- THE WORST PART IS I ENJOYED IT! I ENJOYED SEEING HIM IN PAIN! IN SUFFERING! IN AGONY BECAUSE OF ME!" 

Virgil buried his head into his arms. Roman came over to kneel down and tentatively wrapped his arms around Virgil. Patton was next and soon even Logan had laid a hand on Virgil's shoulder. Thomas just stood there, staring at them all and contemplating Virgil's words. Why did his personality have to be so confusing? 

"Virgil." Thomas started, getting Virgil to lift his head up. "How badly injured is Deceit?" 

Virgil inhaled sharply. "He- umm- he was attacked. By a bear." Thomas's and Logan's eyes met. 

"He got a nasty gash on his left leg by a claw. We tried to clean it up the best we could, but it doesn't look any better." Roman said. 

"We need to get to him. Now." Logan stated, everyone turning to look at him. "As much as we don't like it, Thomas needs all his traits, including Deceit. And if that wound is infected and not seen to immediately it could cause permanent injury to Deceit and even death." He look down at Roman. "Please take us too him." 

"Take me with you." Thomas said. 

Roman looked between the two, then down at Virgil who was being held by Patton, both sporting tear stained cheeks. Virgil glanced up at him with a tiny nod, which Roman returned before standing up. 

"Alright, ready?" Everyone nodded. "Thomas, remember how you got us all to Virgil an Patton's rooms? Do the same thing, but this time chase your most creative thoughts. Focus on your passion for performance, Disney, and romance." 

Thomas nodded and closed his eyes. Soon they were all sinking out. They reappeared, this time in Roman's room. Roman stood up, walked over to a mirror, and waved his hand. 

The shimmering cleared to show a cloaked figure falling in mid air. Virgil screamed, lept up and jumped through the mirror. Shouts and chaos erupted soon after as the cloaked figure and Virgil hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHHAHA! AND NOW YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CLIFF HANGER UNTIL I GET BACK! xD I'm so evil... 
> 
> -muwhwhahahahha-
> 
> Also, I won't be able to get to any comments until Friday! Just so you know! <3


	14. All That's Left Are Your Bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK WITH NO UPDATES! xD I'm sorry about that, but I hope this makes it up to you. I mean, it's not like I wrote this IN THE DARK AT CAMP IN A NOTEBOOK! Ya. Ya I did... So I hope you enjoy! <3
> 
> Song: Bones by Of Monsters and Men (again, I love them okay? xD)
> 
> WARNINGS: Description of injures! And angst, though this whole fic should have an angst warning. xD

_Scratch. Scratch. Sniff._

Deceit opened his eyes to see a cold wet nose in front of him. He closed them again and sleepily batted away at the muzzle.

“Mghph… Not now Wolfee…” he said. Suddenly the last fe day’s events caught up with him and he shot up, the wolf looking at him in surprise.

The pain, the jacket, the voice, Virgil.

The bear. The wolf- the wolf was alive! It- it had protected him!

“You-” Deceit started, the wolf limp-walking closer, matted and blood stained fur becoming more evident. “You saved me.”

The wolf laid down next to him, sighing as Deceit scratched his ears.

“Thank you, Alaster.”

The wolf cocked an ear at the name and relaxed. Deceit smiled when the name stuck.

Alaster. His protector who had saved him from the bear. Content, he fell asleep once more.

. . .

He woke up with a need. A need to move. Alaster was already gone, probably hunting. Deceit looked to his left to see his bag and cloak along with a note which read, _‘Working on it. -V’_

Something told him he shouldn’t trust Virgil. After all, this suffering pain was Virgil’s fault.

 _No_ , Deceit thought. _I deserved this._

He hoisted himself up, collected his things, putting the note in his bag, and began his trek. His leg once again complained, however the relief of moving out-weighed it.

He felt the familiar sensation of the other sides leaving the mindscape. _They were probably summoned for a video_ , he reasoned. Strangely enough, he felt himself being summoned as well, however for some reason he couldn’t respond.

He came to a canyon with a river flowing through it. He was probably upstream from where he tried fishing that second day. There was a path that ran beside the cliff, so he took it.

The ground became softer and the path narrower, but he continued on.

_Pat. Pat. Pat._

His feet meeting soil were the only sounds in the world. He breathed in the smell of water and woods. Even though this experience had been quite painful and stressful, he enjoyed the moments like this, where he could just be. He closed his eyes as he walked, listening to the sounds of the wind in the leaves and the river far below.

His foot slipped. His eyes shot open. He felt his weight betray him, He reached for the ledge. It flew upwards, away from his grasp. He screamed when realization set in.

He saw the world slow before him, his cloak encasing him as he fell.

“Deceit!” He heard a shout.. He looked to his left to see a flash of purple and black before he struck the ground and everything went dark.

. . .

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Darkness._

_“I’m so sorry…”_

_Void._

_He saw the sunset, the last there was after the fight, when Virgil left._

_“Virgil… he said, fighting back tears while clutching the dead baby snake._

_“Dee…” a voice said. “Come back… Please… I- I need you… brother…”_

. . .

The first thing he saw was light. Blinding light. He closed his eyes again, but it was still there.

He couldn’t feel. He couldn’t feel his body. There were voices around him, but he couldn’t make them out. His mouth moved, but he didn’t know what he was saying.

And then, he was gone…

. . .

Virgil hit the ground with a thud. He didn’t care about the shouts of Thomas and the other sides. He didn’t care about the rush of pain through his body. He didn’t care about the protests of his limbs. All he cared about was getting to his brother.

He limp-ran to the body and gently picked up Deceit’s frame. He held him close, begging for him to wake up. He apologized more times than he could count. “Vvvigill…” was whispered. Virgil sobbed and held Deceit tighter.

People rushed around them, commands and orders being given. Virgil felt himself being pryed away from Deceit. Virgil screamed and tried to punch Roman’s strong, steady arms. He dragged Deceit’s body along with them.

“STOP!” Logan shouted. “You’ll hurt him more!”

Virgil stopped struggling, eyes widening. Logan took Deceit’s body from Virgil and laid him down. Roman kept his arms wrapped around Virgil, who stared in shock as Logan analyzed Deceit’s condition.

“Infection… Sprained ankle… Internal hemorrhaging… Broken ribs… Possible fractured skull… Bruising… Dehydration… Malnutrition…” Logan listed off.

Virgil’s breathing increased with every injury. _It’s your fault. It’s your fault. It’s your fault_. Repeated in his mind. _You hurt him. You hurt him. You hurt him._

A scream tore through the air. Virgil looked up to see Deceit sobbing and clutching Logan.

“IT HURTS!!!” He screamed. Logan held his hand and rubbed his back, shushing him and encouraging him to breathe.

“VI-RGIL!!!” He buried himself into Logan’s chest as he tried to lay him down. “WANT- VIRGIL!” he said, body convulsing.

Virgil bucked and kicked against Roman’s hold. “DEE!” He shouted.

“V-Virgil…” Deceit whispered before slipping away into pained unconsciousness.

Virgil’s legs gave out. His knees hit the ground. He felt pain. He didn’t scream. He felt fear. He couldn’t speak. He felt sorrow. He couldn’t cry.

He didn’t feel Roman’s hands on his shoulders until they were gone and replaced by Patton’s embrace. Thomas came over and placed his hand over Virgil’s.

Roman went to help Logan, whos frown increased by the second.

“We need to get him out of here. Now. “ Logan said.

Roman nodded and snapped his fingers. They all reappeared in Logan’s room.

“Help me get him onto the bed. Carefully. He may have spinal injury.” Logan said.

Roman supported Deceit’s head and back while Logan got his legs. Just before they lifted, Thomas came over and got Deceit’s lower back and torso.

“Three. Two. One. Lift.” Logan ordered. They lifted Deceit up and over to Logan’s bed. They set him down, earning a groan and scrunched face from the snake trait.

They all stepped away as Logan looked at his patient thoughtfully.

“Roman, scissors.” Logan said, holding out his hand.

Roman conjured a pair of medical grade shears and handed them to Logan. He took them and cut away Deceit’s outfit, save the cloak.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Thomas asked.

“Try to avoid situations requiring falsehoods.” Logan replied gruffly. He began requesting items from Roman, who quickly conjured and handed them to him.

Thomas turned around to find Virgil and Patton gone. He sighed and sank out. He reappeared in his living room, Joan and Talyn looking at him expectantly.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty. How was your dreams?” Joan said sarcastically.

Thomas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Stressful.” He answered. He looked back at his friends. “I gotta tell you some things.”

He began to explain how the sides weren’t completely fiction. He told them that for the past few months he’d actually seen the sides in his house. He apologized for not being able to keep the secret from earlier this week. He told them what Virgil had said. He told them about Deceit’s injuries. He told them what Logan had said about stressing Deceit.

When he finished they sat in silence for a while.

“So… you can’t lie?” Joan asked.

“Ya, for now.” Thomas said.

“So, if there’s something secret, just don’t tell you?” Talyn asked.

Thomas nodded.

“Well, tell him to get better soon.” Joan said.

Thomas barely heard a groggy voice say, _‘I will not thank you.’_

Thomas smiled and replied, “He says thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ya... My friend got hurt while we were at camp, so I got some first hand experience of dealing with someone who's injured and in shock, so that made it into the fic. :P But thankfully she was okay and was able to stay! It just hurt a lot...


	15. I'll Be Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"I never meant to start a fire._  
>  _I never meant to make you bleed._  
>  _I'll be a better man today._  
>  _I'll be good. I'll be good."_  
>   
> 
> I'm so sorry I didn't update this sooner! Life is getting hectic, but thankfully there's only 2 chapters left! ^^
> 
>    
> WARNINGS: Angst and a F-bomb. I usually don't write language in my fics, but after everything he's been through he really need to let one fly...  
> 

Patton had sunk out with Virgil just before the others lifted Deceit to Logan's bed. They rose up in the commons of the mindscape. Patton sat them both down on the couch, holding Virgil and soothing him as the the anxious trait cried into his shirt.

"I-" _gasp_ "-hurt him, Pat."

"Shh.. It's okay, kiddo."

"It's not okay!" Virgil sobbed. "I did that to him! I did exactly what he did to me! I became the monster I hated so much!" Virgil clutched Patton's polo and held him close, shoulders shaking.

Patton tightened his grip on Virgil. "It's okay... Logan will take care of him. He'll be fine..."

"I know," Virgil said. "But he's never going to forgive me..."

Patton sighed and continued to stroke Virgil's hair. "All we can do is wait and see..."

 

. . .

 

Was he awake? He didn't know. Was he alive? He couldn't be sure. Memories and dreams mashed into one, making it impossible to remember anything. He was in the inbetween, half conscious, half not. He slowly opened his eyes, making note of how heavy they felt. He slowly scanned the room. His breathing increased.

This wasn't his room. Intricate models of atoms and planets were displayed elegantly around the room. A delicate painting of the galaxy rested on dark blue walls. A white board with notes in what look to Deceit as a foreign language hung on the opposite wall.

He heard a steady beeping beside him. With great difficulty, he rolled his head to the side to see a IV drip bag and a heart rate/blood pressure monitor next to him.

 _Drugs_ , he groggily realized. No wonder he was so tired and he couldn't feel anything. But why was he in Logan's room laying on his bed like a hospital patient? His brain couldn't come up with an answer, and with that, he drifted back to sleep.

 

. . .

 

Virgil stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, gazing at Deceit's sleeping form, tear stains still evident on his face. He heard the door click open quietly.

"How long?" Virgil questioned.

"I'm sorry?" Logan said, looking up from his tablet as he approached.

"How long until he wakes up." Virgil questioned.

Logan looked thoughtfully at the side in question. He watched Deceit's chest rise and fall evenly. He examined the trend of Deceit's pulse, breathing rate, and blood pressure over the last few hours.

"It seems he already has... Approximately a half hour ago." Logan replied.

Virgil stiffly nodded. Logan eyed him carefully.

"You fell a number of feet as well." Logan pointed out, earning a huff from Virgil. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Virgil snapped. _I deserve the pain anyways_ , he thought.

Logan narrowed his eyes but nodded anyways. "I will be taking my leave now. Are you staying here?"

"Ya. Just... I want to make sure he's okay. Not that I care or anything. Just, my vigilant nature I suppose."

Logan noted the slight face of discomfort of Deceit's face before it quickly disappeared.

"Perhaps," was all Logan said before turning away. "Please don't mess with the controls on the IV, even if he asks for it." Logan said, standing in the doorway.

"I won't." Virgil replied, not looking at him.

Logan sighed and quietly closed the door, heading down the hallway. He needed to talk to Roman and Patton.

 

. . .

 

He woke again. His mind was still hazy for sure, but he felt stronger. He blinked a few times and tried to move his limbs to wake himself up. He looked around and inhaled sharply at the figure sitting in a chair on the left side of the bed.

Virgil's head that had been leaning heavily to the side quickly snapped up at the insignificant sound. His eyes met Deceit's. They held eachother's gaze for a long time, neither knowing what to say.

"You're... Awake." Virgil said, mentally kicking himself for pointing out the obvious.

"No." Deceit's lying habit taking over in his moment of distress.

Virgil huffed. "Just when I thought you were making progess." he mumbled.

Deceit's eyes narrowed and opened his mouth. He bit his tongue to keep from fanning the flame.

 _You deserved this. You deserved this,_ he tried to convince himself. He squeezed the life out of the blanket laying atop him, trying to hold back from saying something he would likely regret. It came out anyways.

"I didn't fucking deserve this!" Deceit hissed. As soon as the words were out, he knew they were a lie. But so was his thoughts.

Virgil whipped his head back to look at him, glare leveling with Deceit's, eyes blazing with years of fury.

"You deserved EVERYTHING that happened to you in there." Virgil spat. He roughly stood up and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Deceit lay his head back against the pillows. He wanted to justify his anger. He wanted revenge. A small sob told him he couldn't. A silent tear whispered he wouldn't. He loved Virgil too much to hurt him again.

But he hated being treated like this. Like the villain. But that's what he was. The villain. He'd tried to trick Virgil into being it, to make him feel the loneliness he felt when he left. But it wasn't right. It didn't help anything. It just made it worse. And eventually, they found out who the real villain was. Him. He was the villain. He worried what they were going to do with him when he healed.

He pulled the blanket up and reached to hug Alaster, only to find him not there. He muffled his crying with the blanket and wished himself into sleep. 


	16. UPDATE

Hey guys! Im sorry i havent updated this in weeks! I just got to a place where i really dont know how to finish this... and still dont... so I decided to have you guys help me finish it off! Write a quick outline in the comments of how the last one or two chapters should go and I will use them and credit you! ^^


	17. When The Leader Of the Bad Guys Sang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Something soft, and soaked in pain. I heard an echo from his secret hideaway.  
> He must of forgot to close his door, as he cranked out those dismal chords.   
> And his four walls declared him insane..."
> 
> -sings to "the judge" tune- I'M ALIVE! OH NO! IM SO SORRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEE!   
> Heh... Ya.... Well, good news is, there is ONE MORE CHAPTER! ARE YOU ALL READY FOR THE ANGST TO END??? HAHHAAHAHHA! Ya, I am sorry I havent been active as often now, school hit and I was like, "Ugh. Writing... why???" But this is done now! One. More. Chapter! 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: None? Dee's dark side makes an appearance again though. Maybe and angst warning, but that's on every chapter...
> 
> Song: The Judge by Twenty One Pilots

He sat on the edge of the bed, feet hung a few inches off the ground, IV’s and monitor cords adroning his body. He scoured the room as the morning chill tickled and raised his scales. He tensed when he heard a dark whisper in his ear.   
  
/“Oh, Dee.... You precious child... always wanting to believe the best. You lie, even to yourself.”/  
  
Deceit squeezed his eyes shut and slouched forward, head in his hands. “Go away...” he mumbled.   
  
The voice laughed. /“You poor, confused child. You cant escape yourself.”/  
  
“You are not a part of me.” Deceit denied. “I refuse to recognize you.”  
  
/“You are a monster. Eventually you’ll figure out that you /can’t/ live with the light sides. You’ll only bring them down. You’ll corrupt them. You’ll make them turn on each other.”/ Deceit swore he could feel the pressure of the other’s hands on his shoulder, the breath on his neck as it leaned closer to make its point. /“You will kill /Virgil/.”/  
  
Deceit screamed and spun around, tangling himself in the cords and falling off the bed. Something hurt but he didnt care and continued to thrash about wildly, yanking on the needles inside of him. He fought and screamed at something that no one else could see, the monster he would never let them see. Himself.   
  
“Shh! Hey!”   
  
Deceit paused his fit and glanced up to see warm brown eyes underlined with eyeshadow looking down at him with... concern? Why would Virgil be concerned for him? And why was he on the floor?   
  
He looked around, barely catching how the cords wrapped around his arms and neck.  
  
“Shhh.... I just want to help.” Virgil said, kneeling down. Wait, was he coming closer? He can’t come closer! Why? He wasn’t afraid of him. Why can’t-   
  
“S-stay back!” Deceit warned, scooting back himself. “I-I’ll hurt you!” He couldn’t tell if he or the room was shaking.   
  
Virgil continued his slow advances until his hand brushed Deceit’s. Deceit shivered at the touch and stopped moving back. 

“It’s okay...” Virgil said calmly, his voice steady and soothing. “You won’t hurt me...”

Deceit whimpered. “You don’t know that...”

Virgil bit his lip and hesitated. “Maybe... but I trust you. I know you won’t let it hurt me.” He said, massaging his way up Deceit’s arm. 

He slowly began to detangle the cables as Deceit watched him carefully. Virgil finished with that arm and moved to the next. He glanced up at Deceit cautiously, as Deceit quickly turned his head away and closed his eyes. Virgil went back to his work. Soon, all the cords were back in their right place. 

They sat there for a bit, both staring at the ground, the walls, anything but each other.

“I- uhh....” Virgil broke the silence. “I need to apologize.”

Deceit glanced up wearily. 

“You didn’t deserve what happened in there... you didn’t deserve any of it...” Virgil looked away and swallowed. “You.. umm... didn't... uhh...” he bit his tongue and tried to gather himself. He looked up at Deceit earnestly, the beginnings of tears vibrant in his eyes. “I should have come talk to you before taking matters into my own hands. It was the biggest scheme you had going, you’d put months work into it, and I came in and threw it all away. And I’m sorry. I was too selfish to realize how I hurt you and you even came back to apologize but I wouldn’t let you...” Virgil let his head fall, body shaking slightly from trying to contain the tears and fear.

Deceit watched him softly. Was this all a part of the game? Or was Virgil actually here... Did he actually say that?

“You don’t- have to say anything,” Virgil started, lifting his head and wiping his eyes, eyeshadow blurring. “You can still hate me. You have every right to.”

Deceit quickly grasped Virgil’s hand, surprising both of them. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment. 

“No.” Deceit simply said. “I love you. And I forgive you.” He paused. “Will you? Forgive me?” Silence. “You... don’t have to, I don’t deserve it. I-“

“I forgive you.”

 

Deceit sat there stunned. “You- you do?”

Virgil looked up, smiling through tears and nodded. “I forgive you. For everything.” Virgil leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Deceit, hugging him. Deceit’s breath catched but eventually relaxed into Virgil. Emotional and physical exhaustion began to take its toll as his weight leaned more and more into Virgil. 

“I- love you, Virgil.” Deceit felt a tear slide down his scales. When was the last time he had been able to say that?

Virgil held him close, protecting him. “I love you too, Nemo...”

Deceit broke at his name. He screamed into Virgil’s chest as his heart seized on itself. Virgil held him close, shushing him and gently running his hands through his hair. Deceit clutched at Virgil’s hoodie, shivering and shaking.

“A- Alasater.....”

Virgil looked down. “Who?” he asked softly. 

“The... wolf...” he said, hiding his face more. 

Virgil’s eyes widen in realization. He leaned down and nuzzled Nemo’s hair. “Shhh.... it’s gonna be alright...”

Nemo nodded as he held on to Virgil weakly. He soon drifted off to a fitful sleep. 

Virgil carefully lifted him back onto the bed and tucked him in. He stayed there for a few minutes longer, then quietly left, planning how he was going to make this work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "DECEIT'S NAME IS NEMO???? WHAT THE HECK?? WHY??"
> 
> LET ME EXPLAIN!!!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> It makes for good angst. -mic drop-  
> Jk! xDD   
> I love Nemo as Deceit's name because it means "nobody" in Latin, and it's the name of a fish, which he would be super embarrassed about. xDD So ya! <3 
> 
> -sings- BE PRE-PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRED!!!!!! >:3


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I left you guys hanging for months! I wanted to offically finish this fic before the new year, so please take this short little chapter! Thank you so much for all the support you guys have showed me on this journey! I love you all so much! <3

The next few days were filled with needles, tests, pain, and restlessness for Deceit. Logan constantly checked on him. More than once had Deceit attempted to bite him, much to Logan’s dismay and intrigue.

Virgil came to visit, usually silently. They binge listened to ‘Trench’, Twenty One Pilots’ new album. Roman came more than once to apologize, which Deceit would  forgive him, sometimes saying he deserved it. Roman stayed quiet, looking uncomfortable before nodding and leaving. Patton brought sweets, even though Logan had told him multiple times it wasn’t good for Deceit’s recovery. Patton would talk Deceit’s ear off as the half snake ate, usually recounting the day’s events and being extra sure to mention all the cute cats and dogs Thomas had seen. Deceit would smile and nod before taking another bite of whatever pastry Patton fancied making that day. Sometimes, out of the corner of his eye, he would see a flash of purple and black walking away from the door, as if it had been standing guard. He smiled to himself before turning back to Patton, the moral side continuing his story.

Finally,  _finally,_ the day came. Deceir sat on the edge of the bed, restlessly kicking his feet as Logan made a “few” final tests. He continued to prod Deceit, write a few thins on a clipboard, then poke somemore. Deceit was literally about to bite Logan if he didn’t let him go soon.

”I’d be careful if I were you, Specs. He doesn’t look very happy.” Roman chuckles from the door. Deceit offers him a smile, which Roman returns.

“Preposterous. We’ve been here less than ten minutes.” Logan replies and taps Deceit’s knee, checking his responsiveness.

Deceit’s leg jumps against his will and he hisses. “It’s  _not_ been twenty minutes...” he grumbles.

Logan checks his watch. “Oh my! It has been! My apologies, Deceit.”

Deceit rolls his eyes. “It’s  _not_  fine.”

Logan writes one more thing down before nodding. “Okay. You’re free to go. Don’t forget to take it easy and- DECEIT!”

Deceit doesn’t need to be told twice as he’s already out the door, running downstairs to the commons, remembering Patton saying he was making a special dinner to celebrate. He makes it downstairs and freezes.

Sitting at the table was Virgil on his phone. He looked up at Deceit, offering him a smile. Laying on the ground next to him, sleeping, was a bundle of fur. It raised it’s head and yawned before looking at Deceit and perking it’s ears.

”Alaster...” Deceit exhaled.

Alaster wagged his tail and got up, bounding over to Deceit as he kneeled down, tears forming in his eyes. “Alaster... Oh, Alaster.” Deceit pet the wolf’s fur and buried his face into him. “My protector.”

Alaster turned his head and licked Deceit’s tears from his cheeks, making the half snake giggle.

Virgil watched them with a sad smile. Deceit looked up at him. “How?” He questioned.

”Roman. And a lot of energy.” Virgil answered.

Alaster pawed Deceit’s leg to get his attention back. Deceit chuckled and pet him once more before he stood and walked over to Virgil, wrapping him in a warm hug. Virgil was stiff at first, but relaxed and wrapped his arms around Deceit, hugging him back.

”Thank you...” Deceit whispered.

Virgil nods, tears of joy filling his eyes. “I love you.”

”I love you too, brother.”

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
